Wednesday, December 30, 2009

How Badly...

I have suffered a setback.  Yes, I am working out like a wild woman...but I binged.  Again.  I don't know how to be "good" with my diet.  I stick to the plan and then fall off the wagon.  I did not even binge on anything good...well, it tasted good...but I binged on Mike's meatloaf and mashed potatoes last night.  BINGED.  It was like I had never eaten dinner before.  I am paying for it this morning and I feel sick.  Am I being lazy???  Why did I spin out of control???  I do have to ask myself two badly do I want to lose this weight and how badly do I want baby number two???  They both go hand in hand right now.  If I don't lose the weight, I am shaving years off of my life and time with my precious family.  If I don't lose the weight, then I don't even get a shot at baby number two.  Why can't I commit to this???  I have been good for so long and then have one slipup and beat myself up over it???  I feel like crap...getting down about this and it has to stop.  Gonna get going for the day...gotta get ready for work (oh joy) and get Little Man ready for his day with Grandma Nana and Papa.  That is even worse.  He is less of a morning person than I am.  I get to fight the traffic in the snow.  Reason #437 I want to move back to Florida.

More later.  Love to All.

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