Friday, December 30, 2011

...falling into place...

...I am not sure what is going on...but things seem to be falling into place.  Well, that is kind of a broad statement, but a lot of things seem to be going in OUR favor here of late. 

Of course, it is over things that could be considered "trivial"...what is falling into place??? 

Well, for starters, my house has been clean for 23 days straight.  Well, not the whole house...but Little Man's room, the family room, the kitchen and the hall bath.  We still have to tackle our room, our bathroom, the computer/play room, and the basement.  Oh, the basement.  Big Daddy has to work on the garage, but that mess is ALL his.  It has taken awhile, but we are finally purging things out.  Big Daddy has been bringing boxes home from work...we mainly sort the Garage Sale and Donation items in these, since they are disposable.  Items that we want to keep go in Rubbermaid totes.  Items that need to be thrown out are thrown out.  I don't even ask Big Daddy (or Little Man, for that matter) about it.  It is gone.  When the weather gets nicer, we are going to have an EPIC Garage Sale!!!  My laundry is caught up, the carpet has even been vacuumed.  Dishwasher is unloaded/loaded regularly and recycling items are taken out on a regular basis (this is a HUGE issue in our kitchen).  Toothpaste blobs (oh, the toothpaste blobs!!!) are wiped up before they wish is that one day, Little Man does not squeeze half a tube of toothpaste out every time he brushes, but I will pick my battles.  Please don't go over my "clean" house with a white glove...that will come in time.  Right now, this is good enough for me.

The whole housecleaning thing may not be a big deal to everyone, but it is a big deal to me.  When we moved into this house five years ago, I was very gung-ho.  I was a regular Suzy Homemaker.  Then things spiraled.  My depression took hold of me.  My anxiety took hold.  My OCD (perfection) took hold.  How bizarre is it to think that I wouldn't do a job AT ALL if I couldn't do it right???  It was easier to sit with my thoughts, or simply fall asleep when my thoughts became too overwhelming...why set myself up for failure???  I am just glad that this is becoming routine.  I believe that FlyLady says that it takes 21 or 28 (I can't remember) days for something to become habit or routine.  I am THRILLED that I am just about there.

A lot of our purging and cleaning is because Big Daddy wants to move from this house.  I don't.  I love this house.  This is the house that Little Man knows as home.  We love the school, we love our neighbors, we love the location.  Of course, we are renting this house...still.  Big Daddy wants to get a place that is cheaper.  That will be hard to come will be smaller, or an apartment, or (with our luck) won't accept pets.  If we leave this house, it will be for the big move.  To Florida.  Yes, we are still considering this, and it was kind of heightened when Big Daddy had to fly to Florida last week for his Grandmother's funeral.  Sure, he was there in less than ideal circumstances...but I know it was important for him to spend TIME with his family.  Yes, we love my family...and they do a lot for us, but lately our immediate family has proven more and more immediate family will always visit Florida, so we will always see each other.  Extended family, we may not see so much if we move to the Sunshine State, but we see them so rarely here...and we are within a short drive!!!  Holidays, yes...but not much outside that.

I am much happier all around...I think I can attribute a lot of that to my change in jobs.  Yes, I left my full-time job in finance in June of 2010.  I was hired part-time with the school district in August of 2010, and went full-time August 2011.  My job is not guaranteed past June of 2012.  This may play a huge part in our decision to move to Florida.  I love my job...of course, many days it is a roller coaster ride...but I love it.  Things could fall into place, and another preschooler will need my help next year and I will be offered another full-time position.  If that doesn't happen, we have to be prepared for what may come.

Little Man is doing all right.  I say all right.  It has been awhile since I last posted, but I did touch on his anxiety.  We sought the help of a professional.  We took him to see a Psychologist at Cardinal Glennon in mid-November.  She did not talk to him, but talked to myself and Big Daddy for an hour and a half!!!  She was afraid that she could not give him the help he needed in the short time frame that we had (biggest concern: anxiety over toys and how close we were to Christmas).  We were referred to St. Louis Behavioral Disorders Institute.  Well, they couldn't get him in.  At.  All.  He has been coping all right.  Christmas was touch-and-go.  He got a couple of toys that are "triggers", but just covers his ears or eyes when he gets around them.  I am not jumping to return them (mainly because I didn't get a gift receipt) because hopefully we can work through this.  We are still looking to get him with a Psychiatrist, because the Psychologist thinks he needs to be put on an anti-depressant.  I have great reservations about this, but am willing to explore the options.  We are also facing therapy, figuring at least once a week.  I have been through an adult.  I can't imagine being seven years old and needing this kind of help.

We are heading into 2012 with less debt than we headed into 2011 with.  Slowly but surely, we are chipping away at this.  This is a VERY good thing, because we are at the tail end of the Trust that Big Daddy got when his mother passed...we will have less liquid cash, but more invested for the future.  This could also be a factor in us moving down south...having a little extra saved away in the event that we don't find work right away, or take a cut in pay.

I am still looking to get back to school, but don't know how I can fit it in right now. 

This week, I took on extra hours at work.  I was scheduled to be off, since my preschool class is not in session...but I took shifts with the year-round preschool classes and elementary out-of-school program.  I am thankful for the extra hours, but had to report to work at 6:30...meaning the alarm was going off at 5!!!  This will hopefully get me back into the routine of waking up early, and HEADING TO THE GYM!!!  Of course, I will be heading back to the gym with all of the other New Years Resolution-ers, but hopefully I will stick it out for awhile.

I am taking a break from my calendar this week.  Well, I know for sure that Little Man doesn't have anything planned, but I have avoided it altogether lately.  I know next week, we will be back in the swing of things, but I really needed a break from all of the running around.  Sure, we still have Exerfun on Tuesday evenings, and will still have our Cub Scout Pack and Den meetings, but that is about it.  I cut out his two-night-a-week swim lessons.  The lessons were moved to Saturdays, but no running out right after work, no grabbing dinner through a drive-thru on our way home.  Sure, we have to be at the lesson at 8:30 am, but that is about the extent of it.

Those are just a few of the things that seem to be working, or things that we are working on.  Life is a work in progress.  I am excited to see what the new year brings.

Love to all.