Thursday, July 22, 2010

...opened my eyes...

Okay, so my last post was Friday the 16th.  That evening started a few days that managed to open my eyes.  That night, a couple of hours after Mike went to bed, he woke up with chest pain and difficulity breathing.  I was still awake, reading a book in bed.  I knew something was not quite right with him, but he was hemming and hawing about calling the doctor, much less going to the emergency room.  I don't waste much time, and we decided to go to the ER.  I had to wake Little Man up and get him out of bed...but that was the least of my concern.  The less than ten minute drive to the hospital seemed to take forever.  They rushed Mike in right away.  The checked him out and hooked him up and ruled out a heart attack.  Thank God.  They still had to figure out what exactly caused the chest pain, so they ran more tests.  Little Man was tired and restless...thank goodness that the nurse assigned to Mike was a father himself.  He raided the hospitals stash of old VHS movies and managed to find a copy of Toy Story 2 for Little Man to watch to pass the time.  Mike still had chest pain and pressure, despite the fact that a heart attack was ruled out.  They kept giving him morphine for the pain.  They were keeping him overnight for observation, we figured that.  We made sure that he was comfortable (as can be) in his room before Little Man and I headed home. It was well after 3am, and we were exhausted.  Little Man slept in my bed with me...more for my comfort than his.  I can't say comfort...he is a kicker!!!  I was so tired, that it did not hit me that my husband was not there. 

Saturday came and Little Man and I went to the hospital to see Mike.  We figured that they would release him, telling him tha the needed to come back for a stress test on Monday.  Nope.  They were keeping him until Monday.  They wanted to make sure that he got the stress test done, and the only way to ensure that was to keep him as a patient.  If they sent him home, it would be considered outpatient and he would not get that stress test done until sometime that week.  Mike was already bored in the hospital, Little Man was already restless visiting his Daddy, and I was freaking out.  Freaking out because this meant I would be alone Saturday and Sunday nights. 

I am normally a strong person, but the nights alone freak me out.

I managed to get through the days okay, muddled through them, really.  I now know what it is like to be a single parent.  I have to hand it to single parents, it is a TOUGH job.  Little Man pushed all of my buttons, and pushed them to the limit!!!  I had to juggle schedules and get him off to school...all without my support system. 

Mike had his stress test and EKG done Monday, along with an ultrasound of his liver.  With all of the bloodwork, they found that his liver enzyme level was high and his magnesium level was they did the ultrasound to be safe rather than sorry.  All came back fine...EXCEPT for the ultrasound!!!  They decided to keep him ANOTHER night!!!  I was going batty!!!  Again, Mike was bored and I ws freaking out.  Little Man was back to his normal schedule, but he missed his Daddy. 

I was able to pick him up Tuesday afternoon, and bring him home.  Thank goodness. 

Through all of this, I realized that I need Mike more than I realize.  I love him more than I realize and I need his support and love more than I realize.  It opened my eyes as to how much he does for me and our family and how much I love him.  I can say that, and know that I always loved him...this just opened my eyes as to how much I really do love him.

Love to All.

Friday, July 16, 2010

...trying to waste time...

I am trying to kill a little time...I emptied out my whole closet, and it is not putting itself back together!!!  That is what I am filling my days with right now...tearing the house apart and putting it back together.  It is not really a lot of fun, but needs to be done.  Four years of piling crap on top of crap is finally catching up...and I finally have the time to tackle it.  I don't consider myself, or Mike, a hoarder...but we do have a lot of crap!!!  I am ready to streamline.  Get rid of stuff that we don't need or use.  I am tired of hanging onto it.  It has to go.

Much has happned in the past couple of weeks.  I have not found any kids to take care of, and that bums me out a bit.  What bums me out most is that I went on a job interview last week...a job interview FOR THE SCHOOL DISTRICT.  Yeah.  I did not get the job.  They gave it to someone who has their Masters Degree.  Now tell me, why someone who has their FLIPPING MASTERS would want an $11/hour Attendance Secretary job?!?!?  I feel pretty good about the interview...I was able (via Mike) to follow up with one of the women who interviewed me...and she said that I was among the top candidates.  That is all well and good, but I still did not get the job!!!  I am okay with it, I just did not realize HOW badly I wanted this secretary job. 

Little Man started Kindergarten yesterday, and I feel bad that I don't feel more emotion about it.  Everyone has been calling/texting/emailing me asking how he did and how I did.  How did I do???   I spent the day running errands.  He has been in preschool since he turned three...and he rode a bus as part of his preschool program...SO the first day of Kindergarten was like any other school day.  Of course, he is glad to be back in school and into his routine...and I am thrilled that he loves school so much...BUT I am not getting all weepy about it.

So, that closet still hasn't put itself together...but I plan on wasting a little time on the old computer for awhile.  Hopefully I will come up with something else to write about soon.

Love to All.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

I got today's MeMe from, which linked me to

Make Me Say It Again, Girl

Welcome to Saturday: 9. What we've committed to our readers is that we will post 9 questions every Saturday. Sometimes the post will have a theme, and at other times the questions will be totally unrelated. Those weeks we do "random questions," so-to-speak. We encourage you to visit other participants posts and leave a comment. Because we don't have any rules, it is your choice. We hate rules. We love memes, however, and here is today's meme!

Saturday 9: Make Me Say It Again, Girl

1. Do you feel that you need to keep repeating yourself when talking to a particular person?  ~ sometimes when I talk to Little Man.  He is going through a very impatient phase right now, so I am going over the same things over and over and over sometimes!!!

2. It's July. Do you have anything special planned?  ~ nothing special...just adjusting to the life of a SAHM!!!

3. Who is your big celebrity crush?  ~ John Rzenik, the lead singer of the Goo Goo Dolls, Nick Lachey, and (don't laugh) Adam Lambert...even though I know he is totally gay...I just love how confident and talented he is.

4. Tell us about a local restaurant you are sure we'd love.  ~ Imo's Pizza, they serve Saint Louis style (super-thin) pizza, good sandwiches and salads as well.

5. Tell us about the shyest person that you deal with regularly.   ~ me...I can be terribly shy in certain situations

6. What is your vision of heaven and hell?  ~ embarassingly enough, I have the same vision that an eight year old would have.  Heaven is all sunshine and clouds and rainbows...hell is fire and brimstone.

7. What is your neighborhood like?  ~ typical suburbia

8. What's your favorite cook-out food?  ~ pork steaks (it's a Saint Louis thing)

9. When was the last time that you saw fireworks?  ~ last night, my neighbors were setting them off as I was trying to sleep!!!
Love to All hasn't sunk in yet...

...I have been out of work, through my own choosing, since Wednesday evening.  It hasn't hit me yet that I am now officially a Stay At Home Mom.  I have learned a couple of things over the past few days...

...I really can get stuff done if I set my mind to it...I have relished the role of SAHM so far...I feel like I have gotten a lot accomplished.  I have a routine down.  I am so proud of myself. 

...I am not going to let the lack of kids to take care of right now get me down.  I still have a little bit of time to get some kids in.  I am not giving up on that.  I am determined to make this work.

...Mike can be right about some things...

...I can not be left in the house with a box of Drumsticks.  Nope.  Can't bring those little guys into the house anymore!!!  Not if I need to fit in an airplane seat in two months!!!

Nothing too exciting, but hopefully that will change.  I am excited to start this next chapter in my family's life.  :)

Love to All.