Thursday, December 31, 2009

Thursday ~ Circus Day

Okay...so Circus Day is the hardest of the Mickey Mouse Club Days of the Week for me to pump out...but I am committing to blogging so I have to get it done...

I can focus on how my life is akin to a circus!!!  The past five years have been a blur.  So much has happened to me.  Some good, some not so great.  I have evolved as a mother, wife, daughter and woman.  Five years ago, I was pregnant with Michael.  He was not planned, but we were thrilled!!!  We did not know what to expect.  Michael came, and my sister helped out immensely.  I don't know how I could have made it through those first few months without her, and without Mike.  Thing was, he was working overnights...so Amy helped me out when I seemed to need it most.  Looking back, I probably suffered from post-partum depression.  I wanted to be super-mom, but could not admit that I needed help.

As Michael got older, the less I could cope.  Mike was still working weird hours and Michael just kept pulling away further and further.  His routines became more and more regiminted (sp???).  He did not talk, he did not want to play or interact...he just wanted to be by himself...as his Mommy, I did not understand what was going on.  Thank God I have been his biggest advocate.  We knew something was "wrong" when he lost all vocabulary at 18 months.  What did I do to make my baby this way???  What did I do wrong???  I could not cope, especially when his routines got out of control...they controlled me and they controlled Michael.  Because I could not cope, the panic attacks began.  This is where the medication also began.  I was put on anti-anxiety meds at this point.  I started turning to food for comfort.  Food did not have a routine, the food did not get frustrated if it tried to talk, the food did not scream and kick.  The food was nice and quiet and calmed me down.  Just me and the food, Mike was away and the baby couldn't be helped.  The depression got worse.  Again, what did I do to make my baby this way???  If you can believe it, the diagnosis of Aspergers that came when he turned four was a blessing...a relief.  Everyone suspected it all along...but when it was put in concrete, it finally gave us a plan of action...

Talking to a therapist has helped...however, more and more crap is coming out.  I am now on antidepressants and Abilify to help with the antidepressant and mood swings.  I was recently diagnosed as bi-polar.  This has also been a blessing.  Now I can cope with all of the crap that I have been covering up for years.  I truly believe that the layers and layers of fat on my body are covering something up.  I do have to get to the bottom of this...and I will.  That is one of my resolves this year...to continue my therapy, to stay consistently on my meds and lose the weight safely. 

Yes, the past few years can be compared to a circus...but I'll take it...I am who I am.  Love me or hate me, I am working on making me the best me that I can be.

Love to All. 

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I know, I know, I know...

...it is not a diet...it is a lifestyle.  When I refer to diet, I mean what I am putting in my mouth and ingesting.  For simplicity sake, I refer to what I eat as my diet.  Much like you would refer to a baby..."oh, they are not on a solid diet yet, strictly bottle feeding".  No, the infant is not on a DIET, but that is what the baby is ingesting.  I have known for years that this is not a diet...I have to watch every BLT (bite, lick, taste) for the rest of my life.  I know this.

I also know that this is not just for short term gratification (ie, losing enough weight to get pregnant)...this has been drilled into my head since I walked into my first WW meeting over 12 years ago!!!  I have to take this in babysteps.  When you have 185 effing pounds to lose, a short term goal makes the big picture much easier to take.

I just had to get this off my chest.  I left WW meetings because of the busybodies.  Now they are coming out of the woodwork online.  Am I going to post this on the WW site???  Heck no.  I am too polite for that.  You all know the real me...and I am not ready to go there on that site.

Love to All.

How Badly...

I have suffered a setback.  Yes, I am working out like a wild woman...but I binged.  Again.  I don't know how to be "good" with my diet.  I stick to the plan and then fall off the wagon.  I did not even binge on anything good...well, it tasted good...but I binged on Mike's meatloaf and mashed potatoes last night.  BINGED.  It was like I had never eaten dinner before.  I am paying for it this morning and I feel sick.  Am I being lazy???  Why did I spin out of control???  I do have to ask myself two questions...how badly do I want to lose this weight and how badly do I want baby number two???  They both go hand in hand right now.  If I don't lose the weight, I am shaving years off of my life and time with my precious family.  If I don't lose the weight, then I don't even get a shot at baby number two.  Why can't I commit to this???  I have been good for so long and then have one slipup and beat myself up over it???  I feel like crap...getting down about this and it has to stop.  Gonna get going for the day...gotta get ready for work (oh joy) and get Little Man ready for his day with Grandma Nana and Papa.  That is even worse.  He is less of a morning person than I am.  I get to fight the traffic in the snow.  Reason #437 I want to move back to Florida.

More later.  Love to All.

Wednesday ~ Anything Can Happen Day

...as the year comes to a close...I am thinking about what I am going to make happen this upcoming year.  I usually don't believe in resolutions...but there are some things that I need to work on...

...patience...I need to be more patient with Little Man...I have to remember that he ticks a different way than we do...he might need some more time to process...I am a go-go-go kinda gal...but need to slow down and take a breath...enjoy the moments...don't get all worked up over the stuff that doesn't matter...

...weight loss...this is always a given...and I am doing okay with it.  Down 23 lbs since September, and I am maintaining (NOT gaining) over the holidays.  I am working out 4 out of 7 days a week...and that is a huge start!!!  I have to focus on my weight loss so I can focus on...

...baby number two.  I know, you can't make these things happen...they just do.  Okay, so maybe you can make these things happen.  My head is spinning.  I see how gentle Michael is with babies and see how he interacts with his cousin and wish we had another baby sooner.

...quit my job.  As weird as this sounds, I really really really want to quit my job.  It is a good job, it is a stable job.  It is just not the career that I wanted.  Sounds crazy in this economy for someone to WANT to quit their job, but this could open the door to doing what I want to do.  This may get pushed back to 2011 if baby number two comes.  I want to be able to stay home when Michael starts (!) kindergarten.  I am getting my house ready to take care of children.  My plan is to take care of Michael and AJ and bring in three kids aged 1-pre-K.

...if the above does not work out, I need to finally make a decision about moving back to Florida.  There is so much to consider.  I am not twenty-something anymore.  I can't pick up and move just because I feel like it.  There is a lot to consider...Michael, his schooling, his future, our "careers", housing, my family, etc.  I could list the pros and cons, but it is not always that easy. 

...I can start listing the usuals...organization, keeping the house clean, saving money, using my creativity, etc.  I need to take babysteps...so I will just work on what I KNOW I can handle!!!

Love to All.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Tuesday ~ Guest Star Day

Today, I will feature some of my favorite bloggers...

http://www.auroraboriealice.blogspot.com/

Aurora is a "frumpy mocha princess".  She is so smart and funny.  I love reading her blogs, I love her twitter tweets and I love being her Facebook friend.  I can't describe how funny she is.  I feel like she and I are the same person!!!  I feel like she could be one of my sisters!!!

http://www.zannaland.com/

I really admire Zanna (Suzannah).  She is so talented and creative.  She just made it to the 2010 WDW Moms Panel.  I am so proud of her.  She is so sincere on her tweets, you can just tell that she is a good person with a good heart.

http://www.disneyeveryday.com/

This blog is by my online friend, Amanda.  She is so knowledgable about all things Walt Disney World.  I can't wait to meet her (and Aurora).  It is so funny, we both worked at DHS (then MGM) at the same time years ago...she lives around the corner from where I used to in Central Florida...it is so nice to get her updates and tweets...I feel like I am still at "home".

Those are just a few.  Try 'em out and let me know what you think!!!

Love to All.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Human Nature

My wonderful friend Aurora asked me to repost this.  It touches my heart and hope it does yours.  Love to All.

We interrupt the regular blog program for a very important message from the amazing Brandy. Please read it and think about it. If you feel so inclined, please copy and paste the below post onto your own blog to spread the word and keep the good karma, thoughts and prayers flowing.



My name is brandy. And I have a blog.


And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He's a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He's the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He's the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He's a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He's made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He's listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He's recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He's the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I'm overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren't sure what's happening. He'll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what's going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as 'brandy's hot awesome dude'). If you don't pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven't seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I'm throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn't a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It's just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven't already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

Monday ~ Fun With Music

Monday is Fun with Music Day.  I know everyone is so tired of hearing about my love affair with Adam Lambert.  Yes, I do love Adam Lambert.  His music is awesome, his style is phenonmnial, he is hot with a capital HOT, and he is one of the few people that when I meet, I will scream like a little girl.  I just love him and his "black kohl liner".  Yes I do.



This week, I will focus on how important a part music has played in my life.  I have listened to all sorts of music.  When I was small, I loved Mister Rogers.  I had a Mister Rogers record album that I listened to all of the time.  I think I liked his soothing voice whe he sang...kind of like a lullabye.  My father listened to all sorts of music, mainly "classic rock".  My mother listened to talk radio.  Seriously.  I do love talk radio to this day.  I think that my mother would listen to anything that wouldn't give her a "headache".  :)

I grew up in the eighties...the onset of MTV...Duran Duran, Boy George, Van Halen...all sorts of great music...and we had pictures and stories to go along with them.







Duran Duran was my very most favorite.  I had the albums, cassettes, posters, magazines.  They covered my walls.  I even got in trouble at school for forgetting to put my name on a paper, instead I signed it "DDFF" ~ Duran Duran Fan Forever.  Yeah, my teacher held it up for the class to see, and I had to sheepishly retrieve it in front of the class.  I remember that like yesterday.  I was sad that my teacher did not understand, and that she humiliated me in front of the class...but I was damn proud to be a "Duranie".  ;)

1984.  The year I turned 11.  I was in fifth/sixth grade.  A very pivotal time in my life.  Sixth graders were sent to junior high that year.  Meaning lockers, changing classes, different teachers and a real school schedule.  You see, I grew up in a district that had year round schools for elementary students.  We went to school nine weeks, off three.  Going to junior high meant that I had a WHOLE, glorious summer.  I was a grown up.  I got to stay home when my sisters had to go off to school.  That was the summer that my mother enrolled me in the Columbia House Record Club.  I went to http://www.musicoutfitters.com/ and looked up their Top 100 songs of that year.  Oh the memories...I remember about 90% of them...the others, I bet I would remember once I heard them.  I remember making "mix tapes" from my records or on my dual tape deck.  My best girlfriend, Kelly (who was a year older, making her a soon-to-be-glamorous 7th grader) and I would lay out on our beach chairs for hours...tanning, swimming when we got hot, listening to music.  1984 brings back so many memories...that was the year we were introduced to someone from Detroit named Madonna.  I can't believe it has been 25 years!!!  When I think back to being a little girl...music from 25 years ago seemed so...old.  Now, I would have no problem popping in a CD of this music...and flashing back to yesterday...

Love to All.


1. When Doves Cry, Prince


2. What's Love Got to Do With It, Tina Turner

3. Say Say Say, Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson

4. Footloose, Kenny Loggins

5. Against All Odds (Take a Look At Me Now), Phil Collins

6. Jump, Van Halen

7. Hello, Lionel Richie

8. Owner of a Lonely Heart, Yes

9. Ghostbusters, Ray Parker Jr.

10. Karma Chameleon, Culture Club

11. Missing You, John Waite

12. All Night Long (All Night), Lionel Richie

13. Let's Hear It for the Boy, Deniece Williams

14. Dancing In the Dark, Bruce Springsteen

15. Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Cyndi Lauper

16. The Reflex, Duran Duran

17. Time After Time, Cyndi Lauper

18. Jump (For My Love), Pointer Sisters

19. Talking In Your Sleep, Romantics

20. Self Control, Laura Branigan

21. Let's Go Crazy, Prince and The Revolution

22. Say It Isn't So, Daryl Hall and John Oates

23. Hold Me Now, Thompson Twins

24. Joanna, Kool and The Gang

25. I Just Called to Say I Love You, Stevie Wonder

26. Somebody's Watching Me, Rockwell

27. Break My Stride, Matthew Wilder

28. 99 Luftballons, Nena

29. I Can Dream About You, Dan Hartman

30. The Glamorous Life, Sheila E.

31. Oh Sherrie, Steve Perry

32. Stuck On You, Lionel Richie

33. I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues, Elton John

34. She Bop, Cyndi Lauper

35. Borderline, Madonna

36. Sunglasses At Night, Corey Hart

37. Eyes Without a Face, Billy Idol

38. Here Comes the Rain Again, Eurythmics

39. Uptown Girl, Billy Joel

40. Sister Christian, Night Ranger

41. Drive, Cars

42. Twist of Fate, Olivia Newton-John

43. Union of the Snake, Duran Duran

44. The Heart Of Rock 'N' Roll, Huey Lewis and The News

45. Hard Habit to Break, Chicago

46. The Warrior, Scandal

47. If Ever You're In My Arms Again, Peabo Bryson

48. Automatic, Pointer Sisters

49. Let the Music Play, Shannon

50. To All the Girls I've Loved Before, Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson

51. Caribbean Queen, Billy Ocean

52. That's All, Genesis

53. Running With the Night, Lionel Richie

54. Sad Songs (Say So Much), Elton John

55. I Want a New Drug, Huey Lewis and The News

56. Islands in the Stream, Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton

57. Love Is a Battlefield, Pat Benatar

58. Infatuation, Rod Stewart

59. Almost Paradise, Mike Reno and Ann Wilson

60. Legs, ZZ Top

61. State of Shock, Jacksons

62. Love Somebody, Rick Springfield

63. Miss Me Blind, Culture Club

64. If This Is It, Huey Lewis and The News

65. You Might Think, Cars

66. Lucky Star, Madonna

67. Cover Me, Bruce Springsteen

68. Cum On Feel the Noize, Quiet Riot

69. Breakdance, Irene Cara

70. Adult Education, Daryl Hall and John Oates

71. They Don't Know, Tracy Ullman

72. An Innocent Man, Billy Joel

73. Cruel Summer, Bananarama

74. Dance Hall Days, Wang Chung

75. Give It Up, K.C.

76. I'm So Excited, Pointer Sisters

77. I Still Can't Get Over Loving You, Ray Parker Jr.

78. Thriller, Michael Jackson

79. Holiday, Madonna

80. Breakin'...There's No Stopping Us, Ollie And Jerry

81. Nobody Told Me, John Lennon

82. Church of the Poison Mind, Culture Club

83. Think of Laura, Christopher Cross

84. Time Will Reveal, Debarge

85. Wrapped Around Your Finger, Police

86. Pink Houses, John Cougar Mellencamp

87. Round and Round, Ratt

88. Head Over Heels, Go-Go's

89. The Longest Time, Billy Joel

90. Tonight, Kool and The Gang

91. Got a Hold on Me, Christine McVie

92. Dancing In the Sheets, Shalamar

93. Undercover (Of the Night), Rolling Stones

94. On the Dark Side, John Cafferty and The Beaver Brown Band

95. New Moon On Monday, Duran Duran

96. Major Tom (Coming Home), Peter Schilling

97. Magic, Cars

98. When You Close Your Eyes, Night Ranger

99. Rock Me Tonite, Billy Squier

100. Yah Mo B There, James Ingram and Michael McDonald
 
 
I remember about

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Saturday ~ Friday's Talent Roundup Day Post

So Friday was Christmas Day.  Normally, that would be the Talent Roundup Day.  Again, I will focus on my family.  We are such a diverse group.  So many talents, so much knowledge, so many experiences.  Sometimes, I feel inferior to these people.  That is bizarre...why should I feel inferior to these people???  I may not have travelled the world, I may not speak different languages, I may not eat fancy food or throw fancy parties.  Why should I feel inferior???  I should not.  I am a good Mommy.  I am a good wife, a good daughter, a good friend.  These are all qualities that should be admired.  Why am I looking for acceptance from everyone in my life??? 

My friends are all smarter than I am, skinnier, prettier, more successful.

My relaties are all smarter...that is for sure.  They have travelled the world, they talk about intelligent things.  They speak languages, they talk politics and current events and are just worldly.  The adults throw fantastic parties in perfect homes. 

I love them all, but feel so stupid around them.  How awful is that.  These are talented, intelligent, inspiring people...SO AM I.  Why do I feel this way???



These are my dear girlfriends, Lia and Lisa.  Lia is an IT recruiter who just bought her first house.  It is SO cute!!!  Lisa lives in Boston!!!




This is a photo of my cousin, Denise with her beautiful daughter Ashley.  Michael is being so kind and gentle around the baby.  I really, REALLY wish I had a second child sooner. 



Here is my proudest accomplishment, Michael.  Christmas Morning, with Dug the Dog.

Love to All.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

...Wednesday...Anything Can Happen Day...

Yeah, Anything Can Happen.  I am hosting up to 28 people in my tiny little house Christmas Day.  Getting it ready for company.  Stressng out over seating, room, cleanliness, etc.  You know, these people aren't going to be here to judge my house (I hope), they should be here for the family, festivities, food and fun.  If they don't like my house, too bad.

Love to All.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

So Monday was Tuesday's Post...and today's is Monday's post...

Confusing, huh???  :)  I started my Tuesday "Guest Star" day post Sunday evening.  I knew it was going to be fairly detailed, so I started it early.  So, Monday was supposed to be "Fun With Music" Day.  No, I did not workout today (DON'T get me started on this...I have been housecleaning for the better part of 8 hours!!!) so there is no shuffle.  I was supposed to get together with girlfriends this evening...and these are two women that I have known since I was 11 years old...and music was always a very important part of our lives.  I was hoping to do a little write up about that.  When it comes to music, I did listen to http://www.reedycreekradio.com/ while cleaning today.  Great internet radio station that is devoted to music from the parks.  I listened for the first time today.  I was pretty impressed.  I will definitely be tuning in again!!!

Love to All.

Monday, December 21, 2009

...Tuesday...Guest Star Day...

So far, I have featured Lou Mongello, my DH Mike and my Little Man, Michael Anthony.  Today I am going to focus on my family.  Specifically, my parents.  Donna and Bernie Grote.  We are all a weirdly close bunch.  I moved from the fun and sun (and warmth) of Florida to be closer to my family.  I moved back to Saint Louis in September 2003 with my fiancee' in tow.  Mike was born and raised in the Sunshine State, so he thought winter would be exciting!!!  It was at first...until he got his job with the school district, and HE is the one who has to come in on Snow Days and scrape and shovel!!!

I digress...

My parents are two amazing people.  They met right out of High School and married right after my mother turned 21.  They will be celebrating 39 years of married bliss next November.  I am hoping that we can get a family trip together to WDW or DCL for their 40th.  Better make plans now!!!  My father retired last December after 40 years of service with AT&T.   He did not really want to retire, but his job/department was being phased out.  He worked in the coin phone division!!!  You can see why they no longer needed a whole 6 person department for coin phones!!!  My mother was a Stay-At-Home-Mom since the day I was born...she took care of many children in our house over the years...we consider them our family as well.  One family, we took to WDW for the big 25th Anniversary celebration back in 1996!!!  We still get Christmas cards and updates from many of these families!!!  My mother was a second mother to many of these kids...my mother got her first part time job back when my (now 21 year old) brother started kindergarten.  She got a part time job at a local grocery store checking at night.  She was at the store about every day anyway, so they offered her a job and hired her on the spot!!!  She worked part time until this past May. 

I believe that I was called home from Florida for a reason.  We moved to Saint Louis in September 2003, married in October 2003...I was pregnant by the end of 2003, my father had a "sort of stroke" in March of 2004 (to this day, ask me and my sister Ellen how one has a "sort of stroke").  He recovered quite nicely after surgery.  No therapies required.  My mother had a massive heart attack in May 2004.  That time of my life was a blur.  I was 4 1/2 months pregnant...I shut down so badly, that I had to actually be reminded to take care of myself for fear of something happening to the baby.  My mother came through...stronger than ever before.  I am so proud of them, they both stopped smoking after fighting that battle since they were teens.






Their favorite place in the world IS Walt Disney World.  They visit often, especially since my sister Melissa is still in Florida.  They joined Disney Vacation Club back when there was only one resort as part of it...and Old Key West was then called the DVC Resort!!!  My dad is a big kid who truly believes the magic that is Disney.  We took the Keys to the Kingdom tour a couple of years ago (still exciting to a former Cast Member!!!) and he freaked out when he saw the characters in various state of "undress" (Woody without his head!!!).  They have been very generous to take us when we may not have had a lot of money in the bank.  They also took Little Man in October for Halloween.  What a lucky little guy!!!  They are awesome grandparents!!!  It is so much fun to watch them with my son and my nephew, AJ.  I love watching them have fun...relax and enjoy life.

Raising 5 kids on one income, there may not have been a lot of money just lying around...but we never went without.  My parents gave me excellent gifts...three sisters and one brother!!!  I am the oldest of the five children, and there are 15 years that seperate me from the youngest (my brother).  My parent also gave us a pretty good work ethic; my father rarely missed a day of work...perhaps because going to work sick was better than staying home with a housefull of kids!!!  ;)

My parents have never been hugely affectionate people...I am not sure if that is from the environments they grew up in...but I don't feel like I was ever neglected.  They always tell each other that they love one another, and they always kiss three times (which I picked up on, and now always kiss Mike three times).  They tell us that they love us.  We share laughter, tears, good times and bad.  I do have some issues to deal with...I still look at my parents as being 38 years old (just a few years older than me).  In reality, they are 60.  I still see them as when they had Daniel, a pivotal point in our lives.  I truly believe that Daniel keeps my parents young.  My therapist and I are working on the reality that my parents are aging and they aren't going to live forever (DON'T get me started on that...).




I hope this gives you a little insight into the two people who helped shape me into who I am. 

Love to All.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

...bad week...but it's over and done...ready to start over...

This has been a challenging week to say the least.  We are so out of money.  Things are looking up.  Really.  There is some money in the bank, finally...not much, but we aren't going to lose the house!!!  I still have issues with coping with stress.  I did NOT turn to food this time...in a way.  I would have turned to Ronald McDonald, the Burger King or the Dairy Queen to comfort me. This time, I stayed away from the fast food joints...HOWEVER, I have been craving carbs like nobody's business.  I have been eating toasted Arnold Thins in great quantity...topped with butter.  Not spray butter.  Land o' Lakes Rich Buttery Spread.  Yum.  Did you know that when you eat one Arnold Thin it is 1 WW Point, but if you eat 2 they are 3.5 Points?!?!?  YIKES!!!  I wonder what the Point Value is if you eat four for dinner???  I am too scared to find out...plus the butter...oy!!!

I do know that the newest medicine I am on (Abilify) to help with the depression, anxiety and bi-polar issues can cause weight gain.  My doctor told me that it does not cause weight gain in ALL patients.  It causes weight gain because it causes you to crave carbs.  I did not believe her at first...but once I was on the higher dose for more than two weeks, I could really tell that the carbs were ruling my life.  I feel so bloated and lethargic.  I don't keep a lot of refined carbs in the house...we eat mostly whole grain breads and pastas...but too much of a good thing IS a bad thing.  I am afraid of the scale on Tuesday.  Really, really afraid.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day...and I will focus on getting my 8HGs in...get more fruits/vegs like I was before.  Mentally, I feel good...have had ups and downs this week...but managed them. 

I have a doctor appointment tomorrow...we will see how it goes.

Love to All.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Friday - Talent Roundup Day...

These blog topics are waaaayyyy harder than I ever thought possible.  Talent roundup day.  Hmmm...no thought given to blogging lately...it has been a challenging week. 

I will focus on one of my very favorite authors.  Jennifer Weiner.  I don't dare classify her as "chick-lit"...I think her writing is smarter than that...but a lot of people probably think of it as fluff.  Hey, if I am reading then it is all good.

The first book I read by Jennifer Weiner was "In Her Shoes".  I had hear a lot of good things about the book, in fact I believe that a dear friend read it in her book club...so I read it on her recommendation.  The first thing that turned me off was the picture of Cameron Diaz on the cover.  There are not many actresses in the world that I can't stand.  She is one of them.  The other is Drew Barrymore.  They both make my skin crawl.  PLUS, Cameron Diaz was dating my beloved adult-crush Justin Timberlake at the time...

I digress...

I picked up a copy of the paperback at Costco.  I love buying books.  I love having them at my disposal.  I usually pull an all-nighter if I am particularly interested in it.  Drives Mike batty, but I love reading all curled up cozy in my bed.  I finished "In Her Shoes" in one night...despite the cover that I did not like. :)  I have been a fan ever since.  You might want to check out her site, http://www.jenniferweiner.com/.  You can read the first chapter of her books there...to see if they are for you or not.  She is so funny.  I copied this right from her website...it is her "timeline"...cracked me up!!!  Most of it is true, but you can see where her humor comes out...enjoy...






Jennifer Weiner was born in 1970 on an army base in Louisiana. She grew up in Connecticut and graduated with a degree in English literature from Princeton University. She is the author of the novels GOOD IN BED (2001), IN HER SHOES (2002), which was turned into a major motion picture starring Cameron Diaz, Toni Collette and Shirley MacLaine; LITTLE EARTHQUAKES, (2004), GOODNIGHT NOBODY (2005), the short story collection THE GUY NOT TAKEN (2006), CERTAIN GIRLS (2008), the sequel to GOOD IN BED, and her most recent, BEST FRIENDS FOREVER (2009). There are more than 11 million copies of her books in print in 36 countries.


Jen is a frequent public speaker who has appeared on The Today Show, The CBS Early Show, The Martha Stewart Show and a number of defunct national talk shows that she suspects she killed just by showing up. She has been published in Seventeen, Salon, Redbook, Glamour, Good Housekeeping, and Elle. She writes occasionally for the Huffington Post and on her own blog right here. She likes sunsets, sushi, reality TV and long walks on the beach and dislikes fake people, humidity, and entrenched sexism in the literary world. Her last name is not pronounced exactly the way it’s spelled. She can be found on Facebook, on Twitter, and, in real life, in Philadelphia, where she lives with her husband Adam, their daughters Lucy and Phoebe, and her rat terrier Wendell.

Want more? Read on...

March 28, 1970: Jennifer Agnes Weiner is born on an army base in DeRidder, Louisiana. Why Louisiana? Why Agnes? Her parents have no answers.

1972: Displaying excellent judgment at an early age, Jen ditches DeRidder and relocates to Simsbury, Connecticut, with her parents and sister Molly. They are eventually joined by brothers Jake and Joe.

1975-1987: Public schools and many unfortunate hair and fashion choices.

1987: Jen graduates Simsbury High School as graduation speaker and heads off to New Jersey for college. Most common yearbook inscription? “Good luck at Princeton. Don’t take any math!”

1987-1991: Jen attends Princeton University where she majors in English, minors in rabble-rousing, and doesn’t take any math. As co-founder of the Committee to Coeducate Eating Clubs, she leads a campus-wide campaign to get the school's two remaining all-male eating clubs to accept female members. She also takes creative writing courses with J.D. McClatchy, Ann Lauterbach, John McPhee, Toni Morrison, and Joyce Carol Oates. In 1990, she wins Princeton's Academy of American Poets prize. She writes her senior thesis on representations of maternity in women's novels and film. Her mother promises that she's read it. Jen's not sure.

1991: After graduating summa cum laude and realizing that she is qualified to do nothing but write self-conscious short stories about her parents' divorce, Jen takes John McPhee's advice and goes into journalism. After a six-week stint at the Poynter Institute for Media Studies in St. Petersburg, Florida, Jen is hired as the education reporter at the Centre Daily Times in State College, Pennsylvania.

1992: In addition to her reporting duties, Jen begins writing op-ed pieces about Generation X. The columns are eventually distributed on the Knight-Ridder news wire and appear in papers nationwide. Also, Jen's self-conscious short story about divorce, "Tour of Duty," is published in Seventeen Magazine.

1993: Jen continues writing columns, news and feature pieces. Her short story, "Someone to Trust" is published in Redbook. Jen acquires Wendell, a small, spotted, anxious, ten-pound rat terrier who will appear, in various incarnations, in many of her later works, and whose handsome visage graces the back cover of GOOD IN BED.

1994: Jen goes to work in the features department of the Lexington Herald-Leader, in Lexington, KY. She also writes columns about Generation X for the Philadelphia Inquirer, which continues to distribute them nationally. However, editors refuse to give her column the title she's long yearned for: The Joy of X.

1995: The Inquirer hires Jen as a general-assignment features reporter, with the stipulation that she quit writing opinion pieces. Realizing that she's pretty much ridden the Gen-X trend into the ground, and after editors and peers gently point out that she will not be twentysomething forever, she and Wendell move to Center City, Philadelphia.

1996-1999: Jen profiles Wendy the Snapple Lady, departing Cosmo editor Helen Gurley Brown, Victoria Gotti and Adam Sandler, and writes long stories about teenage drug abuse, sex and college students, and her grandmother's gefilte fish. She covers a Democratic National Convention, a Presidential inauguration, the Pillsbury Bake-Off, the Miss America Pageant, and Wrestlemania, eventually realizing that these events have more in common than you’d think.

1998: Jen picks up a freelance gig as a contributing editor at Mademoiselle magazine, where she writes a monthly column about surviving the workplace. Other work is published in Salon.com, Time Out New York, the Columbia Journalism Review and Seventeen. She also appears regularly on "Philly After Midnight," Philadelphia's local late night television show, as a cultural commentator and generally sarcastic person. Within the next few years, Mademoiselle folds, and "Philly After Midnight" goes off the air. Jen tries not to take it personally. In the wake of a disastrous break-up, Jen starts writing GOOD IN BED, about a girl who’s a lot like her; a guy who’s a lot like Satan, and the girl’s eventual happy ending.

MAY, 2000: Jen sells GOOD IN BED, and the rights to her second novel to Pocket Books (now Atria Books). Wendell insists on a pseudonym, and is not very happy when he learns that, as far as the reading world is concerned, his name is Nifkin.



MAY, 2001: GOOD IN BED is published, earning starred reviews from Publisher's Weekly and Kirkus, and an "A" from Entertainment Weekly. Jen embarks on an 18-city tour that takes her from New York City and Philadelphia to San Francisco and Los Angeles, and eventually to London. By the end of May, GOOD IN BED makes the New York Times' best-seller list. Best of all, Jen knows for certain that her mother has read every word.


OCTOBER, 2001: Deciding that there’s just not enough going on in her life, Jen parts ways with the paper and gets hitched in a Halloween-themed bash at the College of Physicians to a curly-haired lawyer named Adam. Cocktail hour is in the Mutter Museum, where many photographs of bride and groom are taken in front of the collection of syphilitic skulls. Local band The Beach Balls perform operatic covers of 1980’s pop standards, delighting the young and confusing the old.

APRIL, 2002: GOOD IN BED comes out in paperback and hits bestseller lists nationwide. Jen embarks on a nine-city tour that takes her to Boston, Cleveland, Houston, Dallas, and two hotels with bidets in the bathrooms.

SEPTEMBER, 2002: IN HER SHOES, the story of two sisters with nothing in common but the same size feet and the grandmother they never knew, is published. People calls it "an entertaining romp through family battles and toxic relationships." USA Today says the book "will make you laugh and possibly cry." The Philadelphia Inquirer hails the maturity of the writing. Jen celebrates by getting knocked up prior to departing on a fourteen-city book tour, a mistake she will never, ever, ever make again. Film rights are optioned by Fox 2000, with Susannah Grant (ERIN BROCKOVICH, EVER AFTER) hired to adapt.




2002: Jen returns to Philadelphia to concentrate on her third book, LITTLE EARTHQUAKES, and on Lucy Jane, who made her debut on May 10, 2003 

JANUARY, 2004: Production on “In Her Shoes,” the movie begins, with Oscar-winning director Curtis Hanson (8 Mile, L.A. Confidential, Wonder Boys) at the helm, and with Toni Collette as Rose Feller, Cameron Diaz as Maggie Feller and Shirley MacLaine as Ella. Jen’s sister Molly nabs a coveted role as a featured extra and places the following phone call: “Toni Collette looks terrible! They’ve got her in these frumpy clothes, and she has a hideous hairdo…she looks JUST LIKE YOU!” Jen assumes that Molly is kidding.


APRIL, 2004: Production moves to Philadelphia, then on to Florida. Jen, her agent and, most importantly of all, her Nanna, all get to be extras in the film.

SEPTEMBER, 2004: LITTLE EARTHQUAKES is published. The Washington Post writes “Weiner’s gift lies in her ability to create characters who both amuse us and make us care,” and the Tampa Tribune says the book “will charm and delight readers with its mix of heartbreak and humor.”

MARCH, 2005: Jen attends a screening of “In Her Shoes” in Los Angeles. Determined not to make a complete fool of herself, she holds it together for the first ten seconds, then bursts into tears the instant the Fox logo flashes on-screen, clutching Armani-clad arm of executive sitting beside her and and blurting, “That part came out great!” Jen and her agent, little sister Molly, and, most importantly, Nanna, can all be glimpsed in the final cut. Jen exhales, confident of enjoying a tension-free Passover.





SEPTEMBER, 2005: Jen’s fourth novel, GOODNIGHT NOBODY is published, and reaches number two on the New York Times best seller list. The Washington Post writes “Weiner’s got a brilliant eye for social stratum, character sketches, and rendering of suburban atmospherics.” Janet Maslin of The New York Times says, “"Jennifer Weiner's moment has arrived. Her fourth and latest book, Goodnight Nobody, confirms that she's giving 'chick lit' a good name. She writes characters who could be anyone's best friends, and in this book, she has a funny, malicious, Desperate Housewives eye for suburban life."



Unfortunately, she says this on the CBS Sunday Morning Show. And pronounces Jen’s last name “Weener.

Damn.

OCTOBER, 2005: “In Her Shoes,” the movie, is released to glowing reviews, which convince members of Jen’s immediate and extended family to pony up eight bucks for a ticket. Jen’s Mom accompanies her to Los Angeles for the premiere, along with her sister, brothers, Nanna, Aunt Ruth and Uncle Freddy, who proclaims that “this is the first movie in a long time where I didn’t fall asleep.” I ask you: do endorsements get any better than that?

SEPTEMBER, 2006: Jen’s first short story collection, THE GUY NOT TAKEN, is published. USA TODAY writes that the book “showcases a maturing Weiner,” which Jen finds endlessly hilarious…because aren’t there pills you can take for your maturing weiner? “With her latest collection, Weiner is proving that the masters of the oft-maligned chick-lit genre are voices to be reckoned with,” writes the Boston Herald. People Magazine says even the notes on the stories are a hoot, while Entertainment Weekly puts the collection on its Must List, saying “it is the reader who will be taken with these eleven short stories.”

NOVEMBER 30, 2007: The tiny and beauteous Phoebe Pearl makes her debut, joining big sister Lucy, Jen, Adam, and an increasingly disgruntled Wendell.

APRIL, 2008: CERTAIN GIRLS, the sequel to GOOD IN BED, hits bookstores and bestseller lists nationwide. Publishers Weekly calls it “hilarious.” Kirkus says it’s “heartfelt and funny.” Library Journal kvells “clear your calendar and prepare to read: Cannie Shapiro is back!”


JULY, 2009: BEST FRIENDS FOREVER is published. The novel tells the story of Addie and Val, who were best friends as girls in a Midwestern suburb, parted ways after a stunning betrayal in high school, and reunite on the eve of their fifteenth high-school reunion, when Val shows up at Addie’s door with blood on her coat and fear in her eyes, saying, “Something horrible happened, and you’re the only one who can help.”



I will have you know that...  a) I totally copied the above directly from her wonderful website...kudos to her, not me...and b) I bought Best Friends Forever in HARDCOVER...not paperback...rare for me...very rare, but I love her work.

Hope you give her a chance!!!

Love to all.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

...Wednesday...Anything Can Happen Day...






Today is usually Anything Can Happen Day...but I am going with Wordless Wednesday today. 

RIP Roy E Disney.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Terriffic Tuesday!!!

I had a great couple of days...I was off work. :) I got to play Stay-At-Home-Mommy. The role I was meant to play. Seriously. I cleaned, cooked, baked, caught up on laundry, worked out...I had such a fantastic two days. Reality sets in and I have to head back to work tomorrow...not just work, but I have training. Ugh. Don't get me wrong...I work for a terrific company, I enjoy my job and I love the people I work with. I just wish that I could be at home where I belong.


Tonights workout was fantastic. I feel so good about what I accomplished. I got my 8HGs in, tracked every BLT (even the Oreo Truffle*** that I made a big batch of) and got my activity in. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!!!

Love to All.

*** ~~~ Oreo Truffles ~~~

NOT WW Friendly!!!

1 pkg. Oreos Crushed mixed with 1 brick Cream Cheese. Mix that into one package of melted Almond Bark (either white or milk chocolate). Quickly form balls and let harden on waxed paper.

Enjoy!!! I figured out on Recipe Bulider if you make 62 of them, they are approximately 2.5 points each. I suppose you could make them with RF Oreos and FF Cream Cheese...but what is the point??? Who knows, maybe I will try that sometime...these are for others to enjoy...not me. :)

...Tuesday...Guest Star Day...

...Tuesday...Guest Star Day...in keeping up with My MMC Days of the Week Blogging Theme, today is Guest Star Day.  I have featured the fabulous Lou Mongello and my DH Mike.  Today, I will focus on the most important star of my life, Little Man.  Michael Anthony Pagnotti II.

Michael was an unexpected surprise.  We knew we wanted a baby, but we were not thinking so soon after we were married.  Mike and I were married 10/11/03 and Michael was born 8/17/04.  I did not want to find out the gender of the baby...I am very old fashioned that way.  There was nothing like hearing my DH tell me it's a boy!!! 

Michael has always been a source of great joy...not only to Mike and I, but to our whole family.  He is the first grandchild and great grandchild. 

 (Little Man and GreatGrandma Frye his second Christmas December 2005)


Much of the reason why we stay in the Saint Louis area is because of my family.  I grew up one of 27 grandchildren total on both sides.  So far, it is just Michael and AJ...little Peanut will be born in June...but Michael is growing up in a much smaller family than I did.

Michael was such a happy, quiet baby...he really gave me no problems.  He slept through the night before I went back to work at 12 weeks.  He seemed to be developing normally, until he hit about 18 months.  I know that there is some debate about vaccinations and their link to autism...but I really don't know a hwole lot about that, nor do I really have an opinion of it...do I think the timing is something to consider...absolutely.  I am not educated enough about it to form an opinion.




Michael suddenly lost all speech that he had. He had quite the little vocabulary...Mama, Dada, Mimi, Dordee (for Dorothy), cookie, yummee, doggie, etc. He seemed agitated easily and did not smile as much.  He seemed withdrawn and did not want to be touched or cuddled.  We had Parents as Teachers visiting since he was tiny, so we voiced our concerns to not only our PAT teacher, but his pediatrician at his checkup. Everything swung into high gear very quickly...head-spinningly quickly. Speech Therapists, Occupational Therapists, Physical Therapists, neurologists, doctors, tests...everything...so quick. It was a blur. It took forever, and a team on our side that worked and fought hard for my Little Man.



Everyone said Aspergers.  Huh???  What is that???  Well, we got the official diagnosis AFTER his fourth birthday!!!  Even though I had plenty of time to process it, the diagnosis hit me like a ton of bricks.  I had already started having issues coping with Michael's routnes...his need for order and the tantrums that he had if things did not go the way he thought they should...or if he did not like the way things were going.  Mike was working evenings, so it was just me, Little Man and the routines.  I had already been put on medication for anxiety attacks.  Next up...antidepressants.  What did I do to make Michael this way???  What did I do wrong??? Was I a bad mother???



Michael started pre-K at the tender age of three.  I could not believe that I was sending my tiny baby on a BIG HUGE school bus.  He was potty trained at that point, but he still wore pullups.  He was still just a baby.

First Day of School Age 3First Day of School Age 4


First Day of School Age 5  He didn't need Mommy much anymore!!!

Michael has made great strides.  He is speaking clearly, not needing routune so much and not so sensory sensitive...but we still have a way to go.  Every day is an adventure, and every day it is my job to give that Little Man 100 Kisses.  Today, I think I will give that Little Guy an extra squeeze and 100 more kisses for good measure.  You never know what direction life may take you.



Love to All.

Monday, December 14, 2009

...Far Away...

...so today, an old elementary school friend posted several old pictures on Facebook.  I was thrilled to see how cute we all were, in our school photos...all dressed up with ribbons in our hair.  There were a few photos that unsettled me.  It shows a very pretty (if I do say so myself) little girl with a far off look in her eyes. 

That little girl was sitting at a birthday party at a pizza place.  She might have been eight or nine at the time...not quite sure.  The little girl did not look like she was having fun...she looked like she was deep in thought.  All of the other girls in the picture were smiling, especially the birthday girl.  That little dark blonde, blue eyed girl in the blue dress was worried.  She was worried about how much bigger she was than everyone at the table.  She was worried about actually having to eat in front of the other, much smaller girls.  The little girl in the blue dress was worried that her mother would be mad if she found out she ate too much pizza or too much cake.  That little girl had already been put on a diet, and she could not mess up.  That little girl did not sit up straight because then she would tower over the other, much more petite little girls.  That girl was thinking about how the waistband of her tights was cutting into her sides, and that she was so fat.

That little girl is me. 

So many memories washed over me as I saw that picture.   First, I thought how thin I looked.  How could I have been put on a diet to lose a few pounds???  I was skinny!!!  Sure, I was tall and had big feet...but I was certainly not fat.  Then I remembered that, at that point in my life, I had already learned to avoid scales...when it came time for the school nurse to weigh us every year, I pretended that I did not hear the number that she gave me.  I did not compare my number with the number of all of the other little girls.  I was afraid that I weighed more than my teacher!!!

I get sad for the little girl in that photo...I get mad that she did not stand up for herself.  How could she have???  My psycharitist says that my mother was neglectful...I don't see her as being neglectful by any stretch of the imagination.  My mom had a lot on her plate...that should not be an excuse, but she was a young mother with four children at that point.  If she was doing Weight Watchers, then so was I.  I remember a lot of cucumbers and cottage cheese.  My mom must have had a different idea of what her oldest daughter should look like...she is the oldest in her family, so that makes me sad for her.

Take a peek at the pic if you can... http://www.facebook.com/#/photo.php?pid=835900&id=1409535951&fbid=1288472217783  I am not sure what sort of privacy settings it has, but I am tagged in it, so you should be able to see it in my photos.

Love to All.

...Monday...Fun With Music Day...

...so after yesterday's heavy hearted blog post, today's is a little more lighthearted.  I am back to my MMC days of the week.  Monday is Fun With Music Day.  I love music...all sorts of music.  They only kind I really don't care for is really hardcore rap.  Other than that, I like a lot of different kinds.  I will put my mp3 on shuffle and see what comes up...

~ Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses
~ Mad World - Adam Lambert
~ Christmas Island - Jimmy Buffett



~ Real Gone - Sheryl Crow (I LOVE the opening scene of Cars...love the whole movie!!!)
~ Smooth - Santana featuring Rob Thomas



~ Bye Bye Bye - 'NSYNC (this song reminds me of my early days at the World when I worked merchandise at Fantasmic!)
~ Hoover Dam - Sugar (if you are not familiar with the works of Bob Mould, Husker Du or Sugar...then make yourself familiar...awesome!!!)



~ O Holy Night - Josh Groban
~ It's Not Over - Daughtry
~ Christmastime - Bryan Adams
~ Carol of the Bells (The Christmas Angel Version) - Mannheim Steamroller
~ Love Song - Sara Barilles
~ I Alone - Live



~ Hurt - Christina Aguilera
~ Indestuctible - Disturbed
~ You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) - Dead or Alive (my very most favorite 80's song of all time...)



~ How Soon Is Now? - The Smiths
~ Suedehead - Morrissey
~ Her Diamonds - Rob Thomas
~ These Days - Rascal Flatts
~ It's Not My Time - 3 Doors Down
~ Two Worlds - Phil Collins (Tarzan was the first movie Mike, his younger brother and I watched at Mike's house when we started going out...)



~ Closer - Nine Inch Nails
~ Upside Down - Jack Johnson (the opening credits of the Curious George movie make me bawl like a baby...)



~ The Impression That I Get - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

I did NOT workout to this today...just random.  Seems like shuffle may have been stuck on my 80s and Christmas folders!!!
I will get a real post out soon.  Lots going on.

Love to All.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

My God...

I think I really have a problem.  If I am not eating, then I am sleeping...if I am not sleeping, then I am working out...if I am not working out, then I am spending money.  Today was money spending day.  You see, the problem is...I don't have it.  I don't have any to spare.  Savings is depleted.  We are literally paycheck to paycheck to paycheck.  I don't know how I am going to pay the bills, other than taking this stuff back.  I feel so shameful when I am taking stuff back.  I don't know why. 

I did not take my meds today.  I woke up early, and had nothing to do, so I went shopping.  Went to Walmart and filled my cart up.  I had every intenion of making it to the gym before I picked up Little Man from my sisters this afternoon...instead, I got my Aunt her Christmas gifts at amazon.com, downloaded an album on iTunes and made a "free" photo book (at a mere $4 and change when it was said and done).  Okay, so of the things I bought at Walmart, we did not need a single bit of it...I just thought that I "had" to get my Christmas shopping done.  The gift from amazon.com probably could have waited.  The album from iTunes, thought that I had to have it because it was Volume 2 and I already had Volume 1.  I HAD to have this CD...in case I "missed" getting it.  You know, it could have been Limited Edition or something.  The photo book was a hot mess from the get-go.  Yes, I had a code for a free photo book, but it was a ten photo book.  I wanted 20.  You also had to pay shipping and handling.  That is all and good.  It was a good deal...could have made a great gift...HOWEVER this is the second photo book I made from the SAME photos...and I have all of these pictures on my computer AND have printed them out already. 

On my way to picking up Little Man, I stopped at Target to get the LAST item off of Little Man's Christmas list...this was a good thing, as when I checked online it was not available at 99% of the stores in a 20 mile radius...and it seems I got the last one, AND it was on sale.  I can live with this purchase...BUT I also bought a sweater for myself and a gift from my nephew.  The gift for my nephew could have waited...but again, I thought I HAD to get my Christmas shopping done.  Now the sweater is another story...I have a million.  I have two FULL closets and a mess of clothes in the basement.  I am ashamed.  Little Man has a stuffed closet full of clothes, not to mention toys.  My kitchen is ALWAYS stocked...with even numbers of food (can't have odd numbers in my house) and they are all neatly arranged.  I think that I always have food on hand because I am afraid of running out.  What would we do if we ran out of money???  What would we do for food???  Who cares about electricty and water and tv...I have food.  Our bellies will be full.

I also went to another Target where I bought two more sweaters and another Walmart where I bought a cartload of CRAP.  Crap.  I can't believe it.  I feel horrible.  Sick to my stomach.

Is this because I did not take my meds this morning???  Did I do this because I am sad or bored???  What sort of void am I trying to fill???  Because I am losing weight???  Because I could not workout???  Why am I doing this???

I am a Hoarder.  Not the kind of Hoarder that you see on TV, where they are living in trash and filth.  I am a relatively clean person...I keep myself neat and clean...my house is cluttered but clean.  It is cluttered with STUFF that I have.  I can get rid of stuff, that is not a problem...the problem is all that I bring in.

Something I have to work on...and I don't know the next time I see my therapist.  I do see my psycharitist next week, so maybe my meds need to be changed...I don't know.  We will see.  I just have to take it one day at a time.  *sigh*

On a positive note, I have been sticking to my goal of working out at least four out of seven days.  I have stayed On Plan all along.  I am doing well with my diet, just not my finances or obsessive need for stuff.  I need help.
...but I will spend my kid free morning shopping and working out...I love taking care of AJ for EJ, but it is nice when she takes care of LM
..so kid is at sisters overnight, DH did not feel well so we left party early and went to sleep...whata pfffttt evening...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

9 am is much more my "day off" style...lots to do today, though...gotta get crackin'...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Wednesday's Shuffle ~ What I Worked Out To...

Today was a short workout, since I had to be at work today.  I can't believe that I made it to the gym before work!!!  Yeah Me!!!

Today's Shuffle...

1) I Beg Your Pardon ~ Kon Kan



2) Far Away ~ Nickelback



3) Lonely No More ~ Rob Thomas



4) Let It Rock ~ Kevin Rudolf



5) If I Had You ~ Adam Lambert





6) Suedehead ~ Morrissey


And yes, more Adam Lambert...I LOVE him...guyliner and all.  His music kicks me into gear.  I TOTALLY recommend it!!!

I know today is supposed to be "Anything Can Happen Day"...yes...anything and everything happened today!!!  I should be able to blog a real blog tomorrow!!!

Yesterday's Shuffle...

Gonna do this quick before I hit gym (???)

1) Star - Erasure
2) If Today Was Your Last Day - Nickelback
3) Pick U Up - Adam Lambert
4) A Good Idea - Sugar
5) Viva La Vida - Coldplay
6) That's Not My Name - the Ting Tings
7) New Year's Day - U2
8) Hella Good - No Doubt
9) Never Again - Kelly Clarkson
10) Never Knew I Needed - Ne-Yo (Princess and Frog Soundtrack)
11) Black Magic Woman - Santana
12) What Time Is It? - High School Musical (yes, you read that right)
13) Ray of Light - Madonna
14) It's My Life - Talk Talk
15) Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays - *NSYNC
16) Sugar, We're Going Down - Fall Out Boy
17) In the End - Linkin Park
18) Enter Sandman - Metallica
19) Circus - Britney Spears
20 ) Ring of Fire - Adam Lambert
21) Sober - Kelly Clarkson
22) Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast) - lostprophets
23) Girlfriend - Matthew Sweet
24) Life's What You Make It - Hannah Montana
25) Toxic - Britney Spears

That is what I worked out to yesterday (two workouts)

Love to All.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Tuesday...Guest Star Day...

I was trying to get this up and running last night...but it did not happen. 

Today is Guest Star Day.  I will focus on those who inspire me most on my journey...my family...

First Up...My Dear Husband, Mike.  We met thisclose to ten years ago.  I had moved to Florida to work for the Mouse...he was working at Disney-MGM Studios at the "brand new" Pin Trading Cart...he helped start up Pin Trading at the Studios...well, it was the obsession over those pins that brought us together, in a way...

It was Christmas Eve 1999...my dear friend Pam and I had no family in the area, and at that point, no boyfriends (I just had a bad breakup with a boyfriend and she was single)...but we had each other.  We had a lovely dinner with other CMs from the World of Disney that evening at O'hana at the Polynesian Resort.  We then headed to Epcot for Illuminations. 
The rest of the group went on their way home, but Pam and I did not want to head home...I think we were trying to avoid the reality that we were miles away from HOME on Christmas Eve.  She and I decided to head to the Studios to see a 11 pm showing of Fantasmic!  I had been picking up a lot of OT at Tower/Coaster/Fantasmic! so I could snag us a good seat, I knew enough people...turns out, not a lot of people were at the Studios at 11 pm on Christmas Eve!!!  We were a handful of people who were actually taking in the show, so we all got good seats!!!





We were strolling knd of leisurely down Hollywood Blvd. towards the exit...I had to stop at Sweet Spells/Beverly Sunset for a "Monster Marshmallow"...one of those ungodly marshmallow concotions double dipped in chocolate and covered in M&Ms...that is the name that we gave them.  Anyway, we approached the corner of Hollywood and Sunset, where the Pin Trading Station was.  I thought I would stop and get my brother a couple of these coveted Monorail 1971 and Monorail 2000 Pins.  He was back home, a Disney Nerd like me and 11...so he was all over Pin Trading when he had visited in November, thanks to the Cast Exclusive Pins I had snagged for him.










Anyway, I got to talking to the CM (who happened to be Mike from Ft. Lauderdale, FL) and we got to talking about pins and he noticed I was a CM (since I was getting my discount, I had to hand him my yellow ID card) and we talked about how we liked it...just general chit-chat.

Went home that night, pins in hand...no big thing.  Didn't think much of it, until I went to work a few weeks later.  I was not working at WoD that evening, they needed an engraver at the Studios.  Back in the day, WoD had an engraving station, and I was fortunate enough to be trained to engrave.  It was Marathon weekend, and Guests wanted their medals engraved...WoD was fully staffed...Studios needed help.  Of course I volunteered...I was already familiar with a lot of people from the Studios, so I felt very comfortable there. 





I worked with quite a few wonderful women at that shop that weekend...they had many years of service with the company, and they all reminded me of my mother!!!  Anyway, they kept telling me how nice I was, how sweet I was, how polite I was...and that I needed to meet Mike.  These crafty ladies arranged for us to take lunch together and the rest is history!!!


Mike proposed July of 2002 in front of Sorcerer Mickey, we married in October of 2003, had Little Man August of 2004.  We took Michael to MGM for his first birthday, where he met Sorcerer Mickey for the first time!!!  I have photos of the engagement (in front of 100 strangers, I tell you!!!) somewhere...the ones the (not called this back then) PhotoPass people take for you...I'll have to dig them up...in the meantime, I have plenty of Little Man!!!


























So, my Guest Star today is my Dear Husband.  He puts up with me good and bad, been with me through thick and thin.  He loves me unconditionally, and I can honestly say I love him the same way. 

Love to All.







...yeah...up early enough to sneak off tho gym...who EVER thought I would be excited about that??? Today is weigh in day...wish me luck!!!
...I am so thankful to have a supportive husband who lets me follow my dreams...