Tuesday, January 31, 2012

January...A Month In Review

Okay...so I started the month out all gung-ho.  I was going to blog more.  I was going to keep the house neater.  I was going to eat better.  I was going to exercise more.  Well, I am doing all right.  Not perfect, but all right.  I am happy with that.

I have blogged 17 (18 counting today...duh) days this month.  This is good, considering I only posted 28 blogs all last year.  This is bad, because if my blogging were being graded on effort alone, I would be failing.  18/31 is 58% (which was an F when I was in school).  Heck, last year I should have been held back.  28/365 is 7%!!!

House neater???  That is negotiable.  It is not bad.  It is not as good as it was 62 (!!!) days ago, but we are making progress.  Purging is a hard process.  This all might be sped up (purging, gutting, MOVING) because of a possible opportunity.  No, we might NOT move back to Florida.  This could be a good thing.  I am not going to count my chickens before they hatch, but I feel pretty good.

Eat better and exercise more???  Meh.  I have been eating okay, not 100% better but I am getting better.  Exercise???  I have been fighting this cold/flu/virus/ick for about a month now...hard to move.  I know, paltry excuse...but it has been hard to function, let alone get on a bike at the gym.  I have been dabbling with myfitnesspal.com, and I really like it (I super-really-like that it is FREE).  I put a weight loss ticker on the side of my blog.  One pound.  One measly pound.  Yeah, yeah...at least it isn't a pound GAINED or you should never discount just one pound...but I have been working at it for a month now.

Working at it???  Imagine what my progress would be if I actually tried.

No, I don't mean to be a downer.  January has been a great month.  2012 is shaping up to be a pretty good year.  I am ready for the ride.  Who knows what might happen next!!!

Love to All.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Words of Wisdom, from me?!?!?

...last night, I got a Facebook from Little Miss M's mom.  She works at the school where Little Man and Little Miss M attend, and (obviously) where I work as well.  She is an amazing woman and mother, and I am honored to know her, and (hopefully) call her a friend.  {yes, I still have issues with making and keeping friends at my age...insecurity???  Probably}

Not to copy what she wrote word-for-word (to protect her privacy), she was writing to ask if I had any "words of wisdom" to share about kids like Little Man and Little Miss M, ever being made to feel like a bad parent, or others not understanding your child.  Miss M's Mom had to remove her from a birthday party yesterday because of a meltdown.  Miss M's Mom just wants her to enjoy social situations.  Miss M's Mom worries about having social expectations for Little Miss M that she may not achieve, and being worried about what other parents think.  She asked about "just accepting things".  That is something that I have struggled with.  This is what I wrote in reply...

I have TOTALLY had many moments like yours. They go so far back, I honestly have blocked a lot of them out. Things had (have) to be just-so to him. I did not "get" a lot of it at first, but over the last five-ish years, I have just rolled with it (for lack of a better term). We still get stares, comments, whispers...even as recently as a month or so ago at his swim lessons. I have tried my best to develop a thick skin, but it has been hard. They are talking about, and assuming things about YOUR baby. It literally made me sick when he was three. Anxiety took over, and I still struggle with it. Sounds bad, but I try not to care what everyone else thinks...my best interest is my son.

Over the past year or so, his "social skills" class with {insert teacher here} has helped him tremendously. I honestly can't remember if this was touched on when he was in preschool. I am not even 100% certain what is taught in the class, but I think she has taught him how to handle his emotions when things don't go his way. This weekend, at the Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby, his car was the first to be eliminated. I could tell he wanted to scream and shout (and cry), but he held it together. I cried more than he did, because he looked so sad. He said he was sad that he didn't win, but he had fun, and he knows what to do to his car next year. Huge step. Six-year old {Little Man} would have kicked the track and thrown himself on the ground.

I still stick around with him at birthday parties, he hasn't gone on an overnight yet, and playdates are harder on me than they are on him. I try not to shelter him, and it is easier to keep an arms length distance from him the older he gets. I also don't shout to the world "he is on the Autism Spectrum" unless the situation merits it. I let his swim coach and Cub Scout Den Master know, and they have been more than understanding with him.

Since Asperger's and Sensory Disorders are "invisible", many people think he is a kid throwing a temper tantrum. It could be him reacting to noises that are deafening or lights are too strong to him (even though we may have been in this particular place hundreds of times before). It could be because someone in charge told the children to do one thing, and there is one kid not following along. So many different triggers, these are just a few.

I will be honest, it took me a long time to get to where I kind of just accept things. Every social situation brings up new fears in me, but they have eased the older he gets.

What I always remember, in both {Little Man and Little Miss M's} case is that what it boils down to, they are just kids. Expectations on a seven and a four year old today are so high. Not that they shouldn't do what teachers say or follow the rules...but they are just kids...they should not be expected to act like little adults (that is totally just my opinion, though).

They are amazing kids, smart and funny and caring. I don't let it get under my skin when people are looking at {Little Man} because he is doing the "jump and flap" that he does when he gets excited, because whatever he is getting excited about is something he is passionate about, and that is what is important. I don't let it bother me when other people look at him because he is throwing a fit in a store. It isn't because he can't get a new game or toy or something, it could be because he is hearing some sort of buzzing that we don't (seriously, he can hear a fly before it enters a room) and it is bothering him. I just remember that he is incredibly smart, talented, funny, caring, and that he is just a seven year old boy.

I am not sure I helped or not, just speaking from experience.  It is so hard to put into words.  I can just speak from my heart and from what has happened to me and my Little Man.

Love to All.

Friday, January 20, 2012

What "Cruising on a Friday Night" Means at My Age

I am a little stuck tonight.  Perhaps it is the multitasking I am trying to do.  Yeah.  Multitasking is kind of a loose picture of what I am trying to do.  I am sitting here, almost two hours after dinner was finished, chatting with Big Daddy on the phone (it is all his fault, right?!?!?), and cruising through Facebook and Pinterest.  Yeah.  I remember fondly when cruising on a Friday night involved my three best girlfriends, a 1987 Toyota Celica, a mix tape in the deck and a stop at the Dairy Queen.

Now I comment on friends status updates about the weather in their area, check-ins from their travels (I have a lot of FB friends who are always on the road, it seems), pictures of their puppies, or their link to The Wiggles official Facebook page post about Greg coming back as the Yellow Wiggle and Sam getting the boot.

Yes, seriously.  That is what my Facebook newsfeed looks like this evening.  No, I am not joking about the Wiggle post.  A girlfriend from High School has a nine-month old little girl who is OBSESSED with The Wiggles.  I have a son that was is obsessed with The Wiggles.  This is big news.

I love Pinterest.  It is so much fun, and there are so many good ideas shared there.  I can't even really describe what Pinterest is exactly, but I can say that it is addictive.

I am having trouble getting a "snapshot" type photo of my Pinterest page.  I can set up a link to my page.  I like photos in my blog (and the blogs that I read) so I can post a few of my pins...

Here is an example of a "pin" that I liked.  I pinned this to my "My Style" board.  The board is actually titled "My Style, I'm a Hot Mess because I really am.  I don't have one certain styles, but there are a lot of styles that I like!!!

This is an example of a "pin" that I pinned to my "...made me laugh..." board.  You see, it is funny because it is a photo of the actor/rapper Ice-T ON an iced tea fountain.  Funny???  Yes.  The internet is full of crap like this.

This is an example of a "pin" that I pinned to my "...food, delicious food..." board.  I haven't made this recipe yet (something involving bacon...which means you really can't go wrong), but I have made a couple of the recipes I have found.

Basically, Pinterest is like a big forum for people (mainly women) to share what they find out there on the internet and gives it a"storage space", for the stuff that you may want to read later, stuff you might want to try out, or just things you like in general.  There are so many great ideas.  I like all of the funny stuff, and the things that make me laugh, but there are a lot of great tips...real tips.  Organizing, household cleaning, food, exercise...so much.  It is a lot of fun.

What prompted this whole blogpost was that I was stuck about what to write.  My whole thing lately is that I don't want to post something for the sake of posting (aka, I don't want to put out crap).  I was on the whole "blogging every day for a month" bandwagon...but then I thought, I don't want to write a post just to have some sort of streak and some of the posts be junk...I would rather skip a day or two and write about something better.  I know there are blogging ideas out there, but some of them are just so random (or general) that they don't feel sincere to me.  I do get ideas every now and then from BlogHer, and they have something known as "NaBloPoMo"...I think it means National Blog Posting Month.  They have a "theme" every month, and even give you writing prompts for each (M-F) day.  I obviously can't commit to posting every. single. day., BUT I do like to go there when the well runs a little dry.

This month's theme is "beginnings".  It all makes sense.  January means a clean slate, a new start.  There have been some very good topics brought up, but none that made me want to put fingers to keyboard and type.  Until tonight.  I was going through some of the January prompts, and came across one from January 16th simply saying "Tell us about some of your first toys".

Funny they mention this, because I just created a Pinterest pin board called "...toys I had as a child...".  Just so happens that I created this board on January 16th!!!  I love this board, it is filled with wonderful Fisher-Price and Playskool Weeble Wobble toys from the 1970s and 1980s.  There are only 11 pins on this board so far (I didn't want to go all crazy right off the bat) but I can see it growing quickly.

So, my original post was going to be about some of my beloved childhood toys.  I will save that post for another day.  I had to share the love of Pinterest which led me to rediscover some of my favorite toys.

Keep watching pinning!!!

Love to All.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Baseball Cards, Cr*p, and Why I Shouldn't Write While I Watch Hoarding Shows

...so, I took a couple of days off from blogging.  Just a couple.  I have already blogged half as much this year (18 days in) as I did ALL of last year.  Nothing important, nothing life changing.  Just my everyday life.

I think I have finally kicked this bug/virus/ick thing that I have had forever.  I went to the doctors on Monday.  My ears were clear, my throat was clear.  That was good.  No ear infection, no strep.  Whatever it was (most likely a cold with inflamed Eustachian tubes) wiped me out.  I hope to bounce back.  I'm not going to promise to get to the gym at 5 tomorrow morning, but I hope to get back to the old routine!!!

I am kind of (KIND OF) coming to grips with the whole "down-sizing and moving into a smaller place" thing.  Kind of.  I see the good of it. 

I pass by smaller houses, duplexes, townhomes...and I think, "Wow, we could move back into a place that size".  But, I am also a creature of habit (so to say). 

I love this house, Little Man loves this house, I love the fenced-in yard, I love that I can have my dogs (aka Dumb and Dumber), I love our neighbors, I love the neighborhood. 

Big Daddy doesn't like the amount that we are paying in rent, and right now there is no hope on the horizon to buy this house.  For heaven's sake, our financial planner even told us to downsize!!!  She did not say outright that we were living above our means, but she doesn't like the wheel we are spinning on. 

I don't know if I am 100% ready.  I am not sure if it is stubbornness or laziness. 

In my head, I can totally see downsizing this year and moving back to Florida after Little Man finishes second grade. 

We can do this.  Big Daddy is already going gung-ho. I almost don't want to stop him, because he is letting stuff go

We bought a beautiful computer desk about five years ago.  It is also huge.  We moved it into the spare room when we moved into this house, and it has pretty much sat there since.  We rarely use our desktop anymore.  Little Man used it for awhile, and it still works...but we are definitely laptop people.  We have three, two working well, one needing help.  If we keep the desktop (IF), we could get a smaller desk.  Big Daddy thinks that we need the desk for the Ethernet (???) for AT&T Uverse.  We also have a nice scanner/copier/printer that we bought last summer.  We can keep what we need to, but just keep it in a smaller space. 

Big Daddy is willing to let the desk go. 


Its not, "well, we paid X-amount of dollars for this".  No argument.  I was surprised.  He is willing to sell it.

Of course, he is still bringing crap into the house.

I am not going to say he is a hoarder, but he likes stuff. 

I like stuff, too.  I like my clothes, I like my shoes, I like things for Little Man (clothes, toys, etc.).  I love my Disney Dooney & Bourke purses.  I can also let go. 

Big Daddy doesn't like just stuff.  He likes crap.  Other people's crap that he gets for free.

Teachers at his school were purging old binders.  We have them.  Probably 50 of them.  With the crap still inside them.  Big Daddy brought them home for his Baseball Card collection.  Big Daddy will have to go through his collection and sort them as to what binder they will go into.  Before he can even do that, he has to take the crap OUT of the binders so he can put the baseball cards in them. 

Long story, short.  Instead of letting the teachers throw their crap out, Big Daddy brought them home (STILL FILLED WITH THE CRAP) and stuck them in the garage. 


I can see them moving from this house, to our downsized place (if that is a step) to a place all the way in Florida.  Then, I foresee them sitting in a storage shed in Florida.  A storage shed is a given in Florida for us.  The whole no basement thing.

We seriously have bins that moved with us from Florida (in 2003), to a storage shed (because when we first moved up here, we stayed with my sister and brother-in-law for two months), to our apartment (where we had a spare room, so we didn't need a storage shed), to our townhome (where we had a basement/storage area) to our house (where we have a basement).  We have been in this house since June 2006.  Seriously.  I don't think the bins have been opened.

I foresee a lot of eBay (for our Disney crap that have sat in those bins for nearly nine years) and a HUGE garage sale.

Wish us me luck.

Love to All.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Random thoughts...

...I got nothing...

...except maybe poor grammar...

...still feeling sick...finally getting around to calling the doctor on Monday...

I have to shake this.

I just hope that it is not depression coming back, rearing it's ugly head...

I have been spending the evening comparing my life to the wonderful life I could have via Pinterest.

And it depresses me even more.

Love to All.

Friday, January 13, 2012

...I don't mean to sound whiny, but...

Tonight was Family Movie night at the school.  I love working at the school, I love that my son goes to the school, I love being involved in the school.  Yes, I feel that I spread myself too thin sometimes...but, to my defense, I am kind of a single mom.

Yes, I went there.

I love my husband.  He is much better to me than I really deserve.  I am kind of a brat.  Okay.  I am a brat.  He puts up for me.

But he is not around.

Don't get me wrong.  He is working.  It is not like he is really not around.  I just take a lot of the load with Little Man.  (I crossed that out, because it means I really didn't say that, right?!?!?)

Big Daddy even says that he feels like the "Divorced Dad" since he really only sees Little Man on the weekends.

Little Man wants swim lessons.  I take him.  Little Man wants to join Cub Scouts.  I take him.  Little Man wants to go to Exerfun.  I take him.  Little Man wants to play soccer.  I will take him.  Little Man plays baseball in the summer.  I will take him.  Little Man has school functions and activities.  I take him.  Little Man voiced an interest in Junior Wrestling.  Big Daddy's interest was peaked.  Yeah.  I put my foot down to that one.  Junior Wrestling takes place at the school where Big Daddy works, and he told me those kids (and parents) are there two hours a night, five nights a week.

No.  Freaking.  Way.

Ten hours a week for him to wrestle.

My calendar is a mess as it is.  It would be different if Big Daddy worked a "normal" schedule, so he could help take Little Man to activities.  I might (MIGHT) even consider the wrestling thing, if Big Daddy took him.

Tonight was something fun, Family Movie Night.  The PTO (of which I am a member, the Recognition Committee Chariman as a matter of fact) sponsored it.  It was free for families, and they charged a little for popcorn and drinks  The movie was "Finding Nemo", which we have seen a million times.  Little Man was totally looking forward to this, and so was I.  I just hate that Big Daddy missed it.

Don't get me wrong, I am glad that we have the opportunity to do fun stuff, and that Little Man has activities that he is involved in...and I don't mind carting him around all over town doing things for him.  I just hate that Big Daddy misses the fun stuff, too.

The schedule worked well before Little Man turned three and had all of his therapies.  They would come to the house (or Big Daddy would take him out) in the mornings while I was at work.  The schedule also meant that my parents (who were Little Man's caretakers while we worked full time) only watched him a few hours a day.

Now, I am over it.

I am thankful that he is employed.  That is all that should matter.  I should be thankful that this is all that I have to b*tch about.

Love to All.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

...positive things about a Snow Day (yes, there are some)...

...we had a snow day today...it was a blessing in disguise. 

I woke up at 5am, peeked out the window...I saw it had snowed, but the news did not show we were closed.  I woke up again around 5:30, and the school closed announcement came through the news.  Then I got the two phone calls (my cell phone and the house phone)...Big Daddy got the call on his cell, I got the text, the email and my employee email.  I got texts from both of my Site Coordinators.  Yes, I would say that the first time for our district automated alert system worked quite well. 

I say the snow day was a blessing in disguise.  Yes, I had to work, but not until noon.  That afforded me all sorts of extra sleep!!!  I was feeling awful last night, it was the worst night yet.  I was so tired and achy that I could hardly stand up!!!  We ordered Pizza Hut for dinner (that just goes to show how awful I felt, I don't even LIKE Pizza Hut!!!) and waited an hour and a half for it.  No, it wasn't late or anything, that is how long the delivery was expected.  Supposed to show up by 7:33, came at 7:31.  We ate, read a few chapters of "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" (Little Man kept asking for just one more) and went to bed.  I got a good night sleep for the first time in about a week!!!  The thermometer never showed that I ran a fever, but I kept alternating between sweating and getting chills last night.

In a way, it was also a blessing.  I worked from noon - 5pm.  In preschool.  We had 13 students, two being special needs (so they had one-on-ones), so there were two teachers for 11 students.  I came in, the kids were finishing lunch...then they took their naps...glorious, more-than-two-hour naps!!!  Parents started picking up kids after nap, and then it was time to go home!!!  I can handle days like that.  Plus, as much as I love Little Miss M, she can be exhausting...so it was a little break.  Heck, my own son exhausts me!!!  I have been burning the candle at both ends with whatever this sickness has been, so it was an appreciated break.

Since I have been so draggy lately, the house has kind of slid.  It has been worse, but it has gotten me down.  I will still call it "clean" because I can see countertops in the kitchen and carpet in the family room.  Tonight, I was feeling good enough to unload/load the dishwasher, fold some laundry and throw a load in the washed and dryer.  Doesn't sound like much, but it made a HUGE improvement!!!  I even made Little Man dinner (go me!!!).

Of course, it feels like there is a huge boulder scratching at my throat, but I am functioning...that is all I can ask for.

Not certain about the state of school tomorrow.  I would kind of like to know before I go to bed rather than get the phone calls/texts/emails tomorrow morning!!!  Oh well, either way, I will be okay.

Love to All.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

...really, REALLY lazy "Wordless Wednesday"...

...still feeling sick...hoping it is not Strep Throat...just my luck...

Until then, a "Wordless Wednesday" Post...

My Little Man.  My reason for living.

Love to All.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

...still swimming...

...amazing how your life can be turned upside down in just an instant...

...we will be okay, we will get through...it is just a minor bump in the road...

...working things out...

...just keep swimming...just keep swimming...

...of course,  now I am craving a freaking Big Mac...heaven help me...

Love to All

Monday, January 9, 2012

...what do we do? We swim, swim...

...yesterday, when I had my lazy day, I spent some time reading through some blogs.  I discovered a neat, new (to me) Disney blog, "Passport to Dreams Old & New".  I really like it because it showcases a lot of "vintage" Walt Disney World.  The WDW of the seventies, the WDW that I absolutely adore.  Not that I don't love Walt Disney World now, because we all know that I do...but I love the simplicity of Walt Disney World prior to 1982 (when Epcot opened). 

In catching up on old blogs, I found myself going through some of my old posts.  I have been doing the blogging thing for about two years now.  When I look through some of the older posts, I realize that I am fighting a lot of the same demons that I was two years ago.  Two years ago, I was thrilled with the prospect that my OB/GYN said that if I lost 15 lbs. and wasn't pregnant in six months that we would start fertility treatments.  Really???  I wanted another baby a mere two years ago???  Wow. 

I am still dealing with my weight, exercise, finances, anxiety, depression.  What good has come out of the last two years???

Well, nothing about weight and exercise has changed...good or bad. 

Finances.  We are working our way out of debt.  Our credit scores are improving.  I no longer spend hours upon hours at Target.  Yes, Target is my local-go-to-happy-place, but it is not sucking $500/week out of me.

Yes, it used to be a $500/week habit.  Big Daddy and my therapist nipped that in the bid, real quick.

Anxiety and depression...I haven't seen my therapist in over a year.  I have not been on meds in about a year and a half.  I feel okay.  There is a lot that needs to be worked on, especially since Little Man will most likely be seeing a professional about HIS anxiety.  Overall, I am in a much better place than I was two years ago.  I attribute this to...

My job.  I am no longer in a job that sucks the life out of me.  Sure, it was good paying and had great benefits, but it was mind-numbing.  I couldn't do that anymore.  I love my current job, and hope to be doing it for a long time.

My mantra has always been to take things one day at a time.  I just keep swimming, and that is all that I can do.

Sure, not a whole lot has changed, but I have grown.

Love to All.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

...lazy Sunday...

...I have slept for more than 15 hours today.  My throat is tight and scratchy, my head feels like it is a ton of bricks.

House is still "clean", but you can tell I am not feeling well...dishes in the sink, laundry needs to be folded, remnants of Christmas are still around...all can wait until tomorrow.  In the meantime, Little Man and I are curled up on the couch, watching a movie.  I need to take care of myself...if I don't, then who will???

Love to All.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

...Christmas Stuff, Purging, Gymboree-Hand-Me-Downs and Underpants...

...nothing to report...still feeling icky...

Day 30 of the house staying "clean".  Working on taking Christmas down today.  Makes my heart a little heavy, but it is all good.  Going through Little Man's toys...again.  Deciding what to keep, what to sell, what to donate, what to pitch.  You would think that this would be easy, considering how nervous toys have made him lately.  Nope.  Not even close.  You see, Little Man is something of a hoarder.  No, not like the hoarders that I watch on TV.  He just hates parting with anything.  I have to be sneaky about going through his things.  Once, I was cleaning out his drawers, and had a pile of too-small-underpants.  He asked what I was going to do with them.  I told him that I was going to throw them out since they were old, and didn't fit him any longer {and really, what DO you do with old underpants???  They are clean and all, but I don't think I could drop them off at Goodwill.  I certainly can't give them to my sister ~ she doesn't even want Little Man's hand-me-down-even-if-they-are-Gymboree-and-Little-Man-rarely-wears-things-for-more-than-one-season-hand-me-downs}.  He got upset and said that I couldn't get rid of them because they were "his favorites".  Now to his credit, they were the tiny little Spongebob and The Wiggles underpants that he wore when he was first potty-trained, so they may have held strong memories for him.  I had to sneak them out to the garbage when he was playing outside with Big Daddy.

Of course, when I was little, I thought that my toys (things) {and my food, for that matter} had "feelings"...and I most certainly did not want to hurt anyone's feelings {which is why I was a Charter Member of the Clean Plate Club}.  I can see Little Man thinking that someone {or something} would be hurt if he got rid of it.

Oh, the therapy that I should still be attending {and he needs to attend, most certainly}.

Of course, I keep all of Little Man's important things...I just didn't need the potty-training-underpants.

He is such a lucky little boy.  He has so much to be thankful for.  I want him to live in the present, not in the past.

I should practice what I preach.

Love to All.

Friday, January 6, 2012

...what does E mean???

...feeling sick...need to call doctor about rattling/wheezing in my chest.  Yuk.

TOM came for a visit today.  I hate TOM.

Yeah, TOM is {time of month}.  Really, TOM is a bother.  An unnecessary nuisance.  I am finished having kids.

Pretty bold statement.

But it's true.  I don't want any more kids.  I am crazy about the one I've got.  I love him more than life itself.  I love kids in general, I just don't want any more. 

My mom had my brother (kid number five) when she was my age.  I don't think I could do that.  I am too tired.  I feel too old.  Big Daddy is 45.  That means if we had a baby, he would be 63 when that kid graduated high school.

It wouldn't be fair to the child if I were to have a baby at this point in my life.

Wow.  That kind of came from left field. 

My original blog post was going to be a b*tch session about Gymboree making so many of their clothes for little boys with white sleeves, white collars and white cuffs.

Really.  Have you ever had to wash a white-collared Gymboree rugby-shirt the day that the barbecue rib sandwich was served in the school cafeteria???

Maybe I should pay attention to the school lunch calendar before I lay out Little Man's clothes.

Yeah, but the whole TOM rant is more along my mood and frame of mind this evening.  I feel icky.  Oh so icky.

Oh, I went to weigh myself this morning...the support group (oh wow, I just admitted to joining an online SUPPORT GROUP!!!) the group swapping diet/exercise/Disney tips on Facebook (yes, you can find a group for EVERYTHING on Facebook) weighs in on Fridays.  So, I step on the scale to get a start weight.

I get "E".  As in error.

Or as in elephant.

I think I am too big for our bathroom scale.  Big Daddy says it happens to him every now and then...it takes a few times to get a reading.  It is a cheap scale.

I think he is pretty good at enabling me, as well.

I think the "E" should be a sign.  A big, fat sign.

Love to All.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

....I would like Ambien, a large waffle fry, space in my bed...oh, and a Large Diet Lemonade, please...

...I don't have a lot of time to devote to blogging this evening...so I apologize in advance.

My big question, or "ponder" of the day today has been...why do two little dogs (both weighing less than 15 lbs apiece) suddenly turn into a ton of bricks when they crawl into your bed while you are sleeping???

I don't know the answer, but I am pretty sure my two little fur-babies are part of my lack-of-quality-sleep thing.

No gym again this morning.  I am not even going to try tomorrow morning.  Little Man is complaining that his head is pounding.  No fever, so hopefully Children's Tylenol and a good night's sleep will do him good.

A good night's sleep.  In my bed.  (He sleeps in my bed when he is sick).  Mama isn't getting any sleep tonight, either.

I haven't refilled my Ambien prescription in over a year.  I don't like taking it, mostly because of the funky taste it left in my mouth when I woke up in the morning.  I might be calling the doctor soon for that refill.

On a positive note, I haven't had any caffeine since about 3:00 this afternoon.   Flip side???  I had a Diet Lemonade.  From Chik-Fil-A.  Yes, a fried chicken sandwich, as delicious as it was, was my dinner this evening.  Silver lining of it all???  They forgot my order of fries.  I had four of Big Daddy's.  Better than the whole LARGE waffle fry order, right?!?!?

I am my own best enabler.

Love to All.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

...and I thought my house was bad...

My house has been "clean" for 28 days straight. 

As much as I might be freaked out by the state of my house, it is not nearly, NEARLY as bad as the people on shows like "Hoarders".  I am watching an episode of "Hoarding: Buried Alive" right now on TLC (it was the episode from 1/1/12, "Tiny Monsters"). I can't believe what I am seeing.  Yes, I could be spending this hour doing something WAY more constructive...but I am SO intrigued.  Even as depressed as I can get, I don't think I could live with my home ending up like that.  The show I am watching, the woman is in super-deep denial, and she hoards trash...TRASH!!!  She has used maxi pads, used needles (she is diabetic) and crap (yes, as in feces) piled up in her house.  There was so much food trash piled up in her kitchen that roaches (my skin is CRAWLING just thinking about it) were THREE INCHES deep...she also had black widow spiders...BLACK WIDOW spiders!!!  They are SHOVELING trash out of this woman's house.  I just don't get it.  I may be lazy, but this is out of control.  Just watching this show makes me want to clean something, organize something and take a long, hot shower!!!

That totally was not what I was intending to write about, but I just had to vent.  Let it all out. 

Maybe watching a show like this will make me rethink how lazy I am...I did not go to the gym again this morning.  It was a full 20 degrees warmer this morning (a balmy 34) than yesterday, and I still rolled over and went to sleep.  I have had such a hard time sleeping here of late, I am not sure why.  Probably a vicious circle...I am overweight so I sleep poorly, I sleep poorly and am too tired to go to the gym, I am too tired to go to the gym so I am overweight, I am overweight so I sleep poorly...you get the picture.  I also think that my sleep problems could have something to do with my caffeine intake (as I write this, I am sipping on another Diet Dr. Pepper, and it is 8:27 pm).  I don't want to run to the doctor just yet, as I am certain the answer is my weight.  The answer is always my weight.  I just want to try to work on this on my own.

Next on my list is how to get washable glue (is glue TRULY washable?!?!?) out of a new sweater.  Yeah...tomorrow, I am back to wearing an old t-shirt to work!!!  After I work on that, I am going to clean the kitchen, wipe down the bathroom, fold some laundry and head to bed.  No promise of going to the gym tomorrow, but I won't end up on an episode of Hoarders...that's for sure!!!

Love to All.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

...hmmm, untitled, I suppose...

...okay, so I seemed to be a little stumped about what to write this evening...we are settling back into our routine, and I have little time to post tonight.  Little Man goes back to school tomorrow, which means that we will have a full Preschool class tomorrow, because the entire district returns from Winter Break tomorrow.  Little Miss M was back in class today, and she wore me out.  Today was kind of a "test"...I worked all day, Little Man had Exerfun tonight, we drove through McDonald's for dinner (to my credit, I had a salad with the Newman's Own Low Fat Italian dressing).  No laundry done this evening, the dishwasher hasn't been run (of course, we haven't used many dishes).  I think the house will be okay.  It has been 27 days of "clean".  I did freak out a little when Big Daddy started "cleaning out" some stuff from the computer/play room.  He had about a dozen boxes out and about.  Okay.  I really freaked out.  I did not want him "messing up" what we had worked so hard to keep clean.  He said he had it under control, and that there would be no trace of the boxes or the contents in the morning.  He held true to his word, and the boxes (and their contents) were distributed.  Of course, that means that they were relocated to the garage or the basement, BUT they have been sorted through.  I feel a little better about that.  We are slowly taking down the Christmas decorations, I don't want to become overwhelmed by that.  Heck, I figure I have until January 5th or 6th, right?!?!?  Three Kings Day, or the Epiphany, right???  It will be all packed away this weekend.  Packed away AFTER it has been weeded through.

So, I blew off the gym today.  Lazy???  Yes.  When my alarm went off, and I was kinda, sorta conscious (this was about 4:45 am, mind you) I noticed that the temperature was reading 14 degrees outside.  14.  My bed (with clean sheets and a clean comforter) was SO cozy.  14 degrees sounded like hell, AND I did not sleep very well the night before.  I turned off the alarm, rolled over, and fell back to sleep...dreaming about when we are moving back to Florida!!!  I am sad that I let the weather discourage me, but am ready to go tomorrow.  No excuses. 

I hope that these posts get a little more exciting...I have stopped by blogher.com to get some ideas, and there have been some pretty good ones...they offer a new topic every Monday - Friday.  Yesterday's topic was "What did you do on New Year's Day?".  I kind of touched on that, not even realizing that it was a topic!!! Today was "What is your favorite start-of-the-year tradition?".  Food for thought.  I have some ideas, but may wait and post about it tomorrow.  I have a cuddle-bug-monkey waiting for me to read some of that "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" book to before we fall asleep.

Love to All.

Monday, January 2, 2012

...one day at a time...

...no, I don't mean that groovy seventies sitcom with Schneider...

I loved watching this show.  I think it was on Sunday nights on Channel 4 (CBS here in St. Louis).

I digress.

By "One Day at a Time", I mean that is how I have to take things...one day at a time.  Cleaning, purging, organizing, working out, eating better, relations with Big Daddy and Little Man...one day at a time.  I can't jump in with both feet, or I will burn out quick.

Today, the school district was closed for the New Year holiday.  Big Daddy and I didn't have to work, and Little Man didn't have school.  We really took a leisurely approach to the day.  Big Daddy even woke up later than I did!!!  We had a nice lunch (brunch, since we didn't have breakfast?!?!?) out, where I had soup and salad (and dessert...all things in moderation).  We picked up a few things at Target...new crayons, markers and glue for Little Man for back to school, and a new toaster.  Whoo-hoo.  I can't believe that I get excited over a toaster.  Our old one just kind of gave out.  I learned this yesterday, when trying to prepare frozen waffles for Little Man and his cousins.

I threw dinner in the crock-pot.  I found this recipe via Pinterest.  I have made it with chicken, as the recipe calls for...but tonight I made it with stew meat, to make kind of a stroganoff (???).  We love it.  Little Man ate two bowls!!!

The photo is from the site, http://forkinit.blogspot.com/.  I can't wait to try more of the recipes.  I am not sure how Weight Watchers-friendly these recipes might be, but I am willing to tweak them to fit the plan.

I am slowly working through my room.  I took an hour and a half (an hour and a half!!!) to completely clear out my side of the bed (I had five books stashed away) and my vanity.  I could not believe all of the dog hair that I cleaned up...I thought my dogs didn't really shed.  I was wrong.  I cleared my vanity of most of the knickknacks, found spots for all of my makeups, nail polishes, lotions and potions.  I actually can see the glass top of the vanity!!!  I can't believe all of the time it took, but I am pleased with the end result.  I am finding that I can live (function) with less.  What a liberating feeling!!!  Yes, it took me a long time to do this...and I still have a way to go, but you know what???  I am completely okay with that.  I am pleased with the (albeit small) progress I have made.

I kept a couple photos from our wedding (will be adding a couple of pics of Little Man), my reading lamp, remotes to the TV and the fan, some costume jewelry that I wear occasionally (all corralled in a pretty holder), the lotion and spray that I use obsessively (current scent of the season, Bath and Body Works Vanilla Bean Noel) and the book that Little Man and I are working on (currently "Diary of a Wimpy Kid").  Oh, and if you look closely, there is a small figurine of Tinker Bell and one of Cinderella.  They had been hiding in boxes in my room, so I figure I'd bring them out of hiding.  Living in a house full of boys (all two of them), I should be allowed something girly.

Back to routine tomorrow.  I need to head to bed so I can get up early to head to the gym (go me!!!).  Let's hope that happens.  Showers have been taken, teeth have been brushed, dogs have been let out, dishwasher has been run.  Little Man is watching WWE Wrestling with Big Daddy (rare Monday night treat, since Big Daddy usually works evenings)...Mama is ready for bed.  Excited to see what tomorrow brings!!!

Love to All.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

...First Day of the New Year...

...a pretty uneventful 24 hours in our household...2012 was rung in with family.  Big Daddy, Little Man and I, my nephews A.J. and Nolan and my parents.  There was too much food, a little bit of Wii and a whole lot of fun!!!  I managed to snap some pictures of the Wii playing, as it was Grandma Nana's first time playing.  I have to find my camera...it is around here somewhere, just not where I left it...the case is there, empty.  I suspect Little Man is behind this, and it will be a lot of fun to see what pics he managed to snap!!!

A.J. was a bit apprehensive for his parents to leave around 7pm.  "Mama, stay with me", and he wouldn't let my sister put him down.  He has stayed overnight with us many, many times...lately, the separation anxiety is getting the best of him, I think.  A month or so ago, my sister and brother-in-law had a wedding to attend.  My parents had the boys for the day, and came by to drop them off that evening...A.J. would have nothing of it.  Mom and Daddy ended up taking them to their house for the night.  When they aren't at home, they are at my parents house...so it is natural for them to feel more comfortable there.

My parents came over, and we managed to let my sister and brother-in-law sneak out.  The boys were fine.  We played the Wii for awhile, Family Game Night 2 & 3 (a Christmas gift from Grandma Nana and Papa) and Family Game Night 4 (a gift from Santa).  I did not play the games, as I was getting the party food ready (I regret, I did not get any pics of the food...must remember to take. more. photos!!!).  What I saw seemed a lot of fun...maybe I will play head-to-head with Little Man and (gasp!) write a review.

Time really seemed to fly, and we were helping ourselves to the buffet of "party foods"...Lit'l Smokies in barbecue sauce, chips and dip, bacon cheese ball, cheese and crackers, Ro-Tel dip, Mexican Layer Dip, Black Bean Salsa, Pigs in a Blanket...nothing too good for us, but all the good stuff that we don't eat every day.  We watched some Phineas & Ferb, and set the boys up for their sleepover.  A.J. refused to put his PJs on, saying he would when he got home!!!  He thought my sister and brother-in-law were coming back right away to pick them up.  I spread the pillows and blankets out, and Little Man laid down right away.  He was out cold in about ten minutes.  A.J. fought, and fought, and fought.  He finally fell asleep around midnight, when we were all watching Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve.

Speaking of that show, Disney Parks had a "HUGE" announcement that they were making after midnight on the show.  My parents, Big Daddy and I waited...and waited.  They announced that on Leap Day, 2/29/12 the Magic Kingdom park at Walt Disney World and the Disneyland park in California would be open for 24 hours straight.


Don't get me wrong, I think it is a cute concept.  BUT not really exciting.  Not when you have parks open for Extra Magic Hours until 1 or 2 am.  Reading the Disney Park's Blog, they say that the parks will open at 6am local time on 2/29 and stay open for 24 hours.  Also, if you book a minimum three-night room and ticket package at select Walt Disney World or Disneyland Resort Hotels, you can get a free night.  This has to be booked by 1/31/12 and is good for travel most nights 2/26 - 3/10.  More info can be found at the Disney Park's website.  Great, but we always stay through Disney Vacation Club.  I was hoping for an announcement with a little more, I don't know...pizzaz.  I guess I was a little let-down after all of the hype leading up to the announcement.

The big draw (for me and Big Daddy, anyway) is that Disney is giving away a vacation package EVERY day from 1/1/12 through 2/29/12.  You can enter via their website, or by texting "disneyday" to DISNEY (347639).  I could totally use a vacation...and free is ALWAYS good.

Wow, I got totally off track (yes, that was all stuff that I wanted to mention in this post, but I just kinda stuck it in the middle of everything)...

Anyway, Little Man was out cold, Noley Bear fell asleep on Papa, and A.J. fell asleep around midnight...Mom and Daddy left after we got the boys settled, and Big Daddy and I were cleaning up and heading to bed.  A.J. woke up.  Right around 1 am.  He didn't say anything, just sat up quietly.  And, he didn't fall asleep.  I told Big Daddy to go on to bed, that I would stay up with A.J.  We watched whatever was on Nick Jr at the time, he didn't say much...just that he was waiting for his Mom and Dad.  I know I dozed off a couple of times, but A.J stayed awake.  He FINALLY crashed around 4:30.  4:30.  I stayed on the couch, in the event that he woke up, I didn't want him to freak out.

I wasn't really comfortable on the couch, but I managed to get a little sleep.  A little.  Noley Bear woke up crying.  At 6:30 am.  This woke A.J. up, wondering where his parents were.  I quieted Nolan down, and got both boys back to sleep (Little Man sleeping through all of this).  That lasted until 7:30 when all three boys were awake.  Oh, what fun.

We had a breakfast of frozen waffles and chocolate milk (my healthy eating-resolution is apparently on hold today) and the boys went off to play.  My sister said they would be around to pick the boys up around 9 am.  9 am came and went, I was dozing on the couch when I got a text.  My sister had taken my brother-in-law to the ER at 5 this morning with chest pains, he was clammy and dizzy...his heart arithmeia was acting up.  I don't know a whole lot about his condition, but I could not imagine how scary that was.  He is staying overnight, since there won't be any doctors to run tests until Monday.  I offered to take the boys as long as she needed, but she said he was comfortable and that she could take care of the boys.

I had a short (about two hour) nap, and the day has been filled with a Law & Order SVU marathon, finishing one book and beginning another, McDonalds for dinner (what about this healthy eating-resolution?!?!?) and some internet surfing, Facebooking, pinning, and blog-writing.

Nothing exciting, but fulfilling all the same.  The workout routine starts up on Tuesday, Little Man starts school again on Wednesday, and everything should be back to normal.  Hopefully the house stays clean (25 days!!!) and I keep things under some-sort-of-control.  I want to get back into working out, eating better...maybe rejoining Weight Watchers (but I will NOT go to meetings, another blog post for a later date), I even want to dress better...I am working on that.  I miss getting to "dress-up" like I did when I worked in banking...right now, it is t-shirts and jeans...I never thought I would complain about wearing t-shirts and jeans!!!

So much going on, but nothing TOO overwhelming.  I can't wait to start this ride...2012 should be fun!!!

Love to All.