...what it's all about...

So my Pinterest-Perfect Christmas just ain't gonna happen. 

Nope. Here it is, December 23rd and I have about a bazillion {and one} things to do. 

Crap. It is technically December 24th. 

My heart isn't in it this year.

And that makes me feel guilty.

I am sure I can chalk it up to my depression. 

And the fact that I am not on any meds. 

{I assume this is why you are advised not to stop taking without consulting a doctor}

I have just had zero motivation.

I have scaled WAY back this Christmas. Maybe it is my feelings.  Maybe it is the fact that there was one less weekend between Thanksgivng and Christmas.  I'm not sure. 

We put a tree up.

Half of its lights are out. 

I stare at that tree, thinking I should fix it, but the thought of fixing it exhausts me. 

Then I wonder why Big Daddy won't fix it. 

{oh, maybe because he works 60 hours a week...many days from 6 am - 11 pm}

And the tree still sits. Half working. 

Heck, only half of the ornaments are up. 

You know what, it still looks okay. 

My poor little "Charlie Brown" tree made me realize something. 

It's okay not to be perfect.

Little Man is still going to be happy. He is still going to leave cookies out for Santa. He is still going to open those presents. He is still going to have a pretty darn good day. 

I might not be totally into it this year, but Little Man will be okay. 

He doesn't need 300 homemade cookies.

Made with love. 

On a 24-hour manic episode. 

The Betty Crocker mix from a pouch is just fine. 

He doesn't need a home decorated like it is straight from a Target ad. 

{because all of my holiday stuff is from Target.  Another manic episode. Or two. Or ten. }

He doesn't even need dozens of "perfect" presents. Piled up taller than he is. 

Yes. That actually happened. 

He needs to know that he is loved. 

He needs to know that he is safe. 

He needs to know that he is secure. 

He needs to know that he is smart, strong, funny, compassionate, loving, caring, curious. 

The list can go on and on and on. 

Even his little body is telling him to slow down. 

He is sick. Not sure if it is step or the flu. 

{he tested negative for both...waiting on further results}

So I am going to finish baking those Betty Crocker cookies.  I am going to toss the candy that didn't set right. I am going to throw some cupcakes together and call it dessert. 

We aren't driving an hour to visit relatives. If Little Man is feeling up to it, we might go to Christmas Eve service. We'll hang around the house. Watch a Christmas movie or two. 

We'll make our own memories.  Our own traditions. 

Sure, the Christmas photos might have a basket of laundry in the background. 

I hope you don't notice that. 

I hope you notice the smiling kid in the front. The goofy little boy who is beaming with love and hope. 

Isn't that what Christmas is all about???

Yes. I am going to call my doctor after the holidays. 

Something isn't quite right and I need to work on it. 

In the meantime, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas {or any holiday you may celebrate}. 

{Love to All}

 

...Sweaty is Back...

So, in keeping with our {new} Christmas tradition, Sweaty/Sweetie our Elf on the Shelf has made his return appearance. 

I truly have a love/hate relationship with this thing. 

I love the idea of our Elf. I hate the idea of Mommies "outdoing" one another in their elf hi jinks. 

Yes. Sweaty has his own Facebook page. No, Sweaty does not have elaborate  adventures each and every night. 

Maybe if I were more creative, and less tired, Sweaty could have grand adventures. I do get inspiration from Pinterest, but rarely have the time or energy to act on them.  I hope to do something a little fun by Christmas, nothing too crazy, though. 

Little Man loves Sweaty...almost too much. Last Christmas Eve, he stayed awake until about 5 am crying and upset because Sweaty was heading back to the North Pole. He has such a big heart. 

For the time being, Little Man is quite happy to see just where Sweaty moves from night to night. 

And I am just happy that he still believes. 

Do you have an Elf on the Shelf?  What sort of antics does your Elf get into leading up to Christmas Eve?

{love to all}

...buzzing bugs and grieving...

Today has been a better day.

We had an awesome therapy session.  It was the first one I had been able to attend in awhile.  I think we are on the right track {as long as I can handle the office staff...they aren't the most pleasant...yes, I am talking to YOU St. Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute}

Little Man's session started about ways we can work on dealing with his issue with loud noises...the lawn mower, the vacuum, etc. {I didn't mention to his therapist that he freaks out at the sound of the vacuum because it is rarely used!}  I did let her know that he doesn't have much of an issue with loud noises, because we have hired a lawn service to cut the lawn every other week {mainly because of Big Daddy's foot, and my schedule} BUT he is having an issue with bugs.

Bugs.

We spent forty minutes of our fifty-minute session discussing bugs.  The kind that "buzz".

We often have joked that Little Man can hear a fly before it enters the room.

The funny thing is, that it is true.

His therapist has a white board hanging in her office.  He has always loved writing/drawing on it.  They were discussing what he could do if he heard/saw a buzzing bug.  He asked if he could draw it out.

Of course, she let him.

His drawing was all-telling.  He drew his room.  His door, his bed, his TV and him.  All in "normal" perspective for a drawing.

Then he drew the bug.

It was huge.  As big as the room.

At first I thought he was being goofy, then it hit me.

This is what the bug looks/sounds like to him.

He is terrified of this bug {I will admit that I don't like bugs, but he is extreme} and it is larger than life to him.

It made me realize that so many things {to him} are larger than life.  When we say a week is a long time, it truly is.  He sometimes has a hard time remembering his goals at 2pm when we have a 9am appointment.

This is why he struggles. 

He has a hard time remembering what is important and what can be left alone.  He has a hard time gauging time and space.

In the last five minutes, I was able to talk to his therapist about some recent goings on.  Some goals that Role Model mentioned just that morning.  She thought the ideas that Role Model and I {mainly Role Model, I have to give him mad props} came up with were excellent, and she can't wait to hear how it goes when they are implemented. As Little Man was walking out, I mentioned to her that he ADORES Role Model and he really "lost" him this year, and I had a feeling that is why we were seeing the change in behavior. 

She said, "of course there is a change in his behavior.  He is grieving."

Grieving.  I teared up.

Of course.  Little Man feels like he lost his best friend.  He feels abandoned.

What is a little fly buzzing around to me happens to be an ugly, loud, nasty, gross, huge nest full of angry Horse Flies as big as his head to Little Man.

That spoke to me in volumes.  I have to let it all sink in.  My Little Man is dealing with is emotions, and when you are nine years old losing your best friend is the worst feeling in the world.

I am going to think and pray {yes, pray} this weekend.

{love to all}

...falling through the cracks...

The day that I have been dreading has finally come.

Little Man has fallen through the cracks.

This is something that Big Daddy and I have discussed since the beginning.

Me: "We NEED to take the services they are offering him, even if you don't think he NEEDS them.  Do you want him to fall through the cracks?"

Usually Big Daddy would agree.  You see, his youngest brother {at the time} kind of fell through the cracks.  From what I understand, he might not have been Autistic, but he had a hard time with school.  He wasn't smart, but he wasn't dumb.

He kind of just fell through the cracks.

Believe me, Little Man is not struggling academically.  He is so, so, SO smart...but right now he is an eight nine year old boy.  He is getting lazy with his work.  I have to "get on him" to practice his spelling words or his math problems.  He almost obsesses {anxiety speaking loud and clear, here} over his math problems.  He is very smart.  I get that.

He is falling through the cracks socially. 

He can handle the structure and routine of the school day.

He struggles at the unstructured times of the day, "specials" {PE, art and music} recess and lunch.

And before/after school.

Little Man is supposed to have the services of a one-on-one para {assistant?} for before/after school.  He is supposed to have the support of an adult to help him work through his social situations.  He is supposed to have someone there who he can go to if he needs help with something, if he needs to walk away because something is overwhelming...the list can go on and on and on.

Because the before/after school program is not-for-profit, and really has nothing much to do with the school itself, the school district has applied {and received} a grant from the Developmental Disabilities Resource Board {DDRB} here in Missouri.  They are paying to make sure that Little Man gets what he needs to be successful.  They help pay for private swim lessons, since he doesn't do well in a group.  They help pay for caregivers so Big Daddy and I can have a night out every once in awhile.  They offer social skills classes {though we have been on a waitlist for those since kindergarten} and additional therapies {equine therapy!!!}  They are a blessing that I am incredibly grateful for.

I have filled out mountains of paperwork.  I have sat in on meetings.  I have done everything that needs to be done to make sure that Little Man gets the support he needs.

He isn't getting it.

It all started last year.  The before/after school program said that, according to his IEP, Little Man has "access to a para" during the school day, so his services for the program needed to reflect that.

Oookkkaaayyy. {as Little Man would say}  That is all well and good.  NO, he doesn't need a para every single minute of the day.  He walks, he talks, he feeds himself, he toilets himself.  He functions as a regular eight nine year old boy for the most part.  He would never, EVER in a million years hurt another child or an adult {though his refusal to get off a swing in kindergarten caused a para to tumble and sprain her ankle}  He is more apt to hurt HIMSELF than someone else.  Lately, he has taken to hitting walls and tables. 

I am afraid he is going to break his hand.

They need to read the IEP carefully.

He has FULL access to a para during unstructured times {specials, lunch, recess}.

A little backstory {since I am all over the place as it is}

Little Man had a para for the before/after school in kindergarten and first grade.  They get along beautifully.  We joked that he was more like a big brother or uncle to Little Man.  It was a perfect arrangement.  He was a male role model that Little Man needed while Big Daddy works. 

Little Man was making friends, he was achieving socially.  It was just about as perfect as it could get.

Then "budget cuts" happened.

Last year, they paired Little Man {then a second grader} with a third grade boy with the same diagnosis, who lost his para because her position was eliminated.

They could not be more polar opposite.

I held back, and let it ride its course.  I watched these two fight and make up like brothers.  They had a true love/hate relationship.  I was constantly told that there was no choice but to pair these two because of the budget.  I had to scratch my head on this one.  If Little Man qualified for a para from the DDRB {who was paying for the para} and his 'New Friend' qualified for a para from the DDRB {who was paying for HIS para} why is the budget even an issue???  There should be enough pay for two paras, right???

I bit my tongue when these two were paired with ANOTHER student during breaks and days off.  A third student, a GIRL.  This girl did NOT get along with 'New Friend'.  She got along all right with Little Man.  I figured, This Girl doesn't come to the before/after school program on a regular basis, so maybe she didn't have funding for a para.  I settled for that.  {I later learned that I was incorrect, that 'This Girl' DID qualify for a para from the DDRB}

Little Man's behavior and anger kept getting worse.  His anxiety was out of control.  We kept plugging along at therapy week after week looking for answers, when most of them were right in front of me.

He was losing his best friend {'Role Model'}.  He didn't like sharing 'Role Model'.  He wanted 'Role Model' all to himself.

This summer, the transition from second to third grade was awful.  Little Man was getting in more and more trouble.  He was getting along with 'New Friend' all right, and 'This Girl' didn't attend summer session, except for a few days before school started. 

Then the first day of school happened.

The before/after school program got a new student.  A non-verbal Autistic fifth grade boy.  This child qualified for a para from the DDRB.  The problem is, the before/after school program didn't hire anyone for him.

Little Man and 'New Friend' fell through the cracks.

'New Friend's parents were okay with it.  He is getting older, and better able to handle social situations.  They don't fear for his safety.  The DDRB is still paying for his para, so he still has "access" to 'Role Model'.  Little Man, 'New Friend' and 'Fifth Grader' were all placed in a "new" group for third/fourth/fifth graders with a male facilitator with the understanding that 'Role Model' was to help Fifth Grader, and the facilitator was to "monitor" Little Man and 'New Friend' {along with 23 other children}

Yep, Little Man OFFICIALLY fell through the cracks.

He is getting into WORSE trouble a month into the new school year.  He is running from adults, being disrespectful, hitting things, throwing fits...worst of all, he is being BULLIED by a fourth grader who can't be in another group {because he has terrorized fourth grade girls}

Little Man is so sweet and generous, he told me "Mom, I know that 'Fifth Grader' needs 'Role Model' more than I do.  He can have 'Role Model' until he finished fifth grade, then I get 'Role Model' back".

No, Little Man.  Apparently you are becoming "too dependent" on 'Role Model'.  Apparently in third grade, you are "getting ready for middle school". {???WTF???}  You won't have 'Role Model' back.  'Fifth Grader' needs him more and the budget won't let them hire anyone for you.

So, Little Man will continue to throw fits, he will continue to be disrespectful to adults, he will continue to be bullied by out-of-control fourth graders.  Little Man will spend his afternoons writing sentences {as punishment} instead of playing.  Little Man will not make friends, because who wants to be friends with the kid that gets in trouble all of the time?  He will continue to hit walls and tables.  He might even hurt himself.

But he won't have the support that he needs.

I am exhausted.  I am at my wits end.  I am between a rock and a hard place.  I work for the school district {in a position that I love}  I am not sure how badly I can rock the boat without losing my job.

My question is...how can "budget cuts" be an issue if the DDRB is paying to provide paras for THREE {four, really} CHILDREN when only one is truly getting the services???

The DDRB pays for their grants from taxpayer money {from my understanding}.  The county we live in might be interested to know that their money is being abused misused.  I just don't get it.

I don't know how much longer I can stay quiet.  Yes, I love my job.  Yes, I NEED my job.

But I am Little Man's Mommy first.

I need to make sure he is protected and taken care of.  He isn't getting what he needs right now.

I need to figure all of this out.

{love to all}

...I am NOT stupid...I am NOT lazy...I know now this works...

I am not stupid.

I am not lazy.

I know that weight loss and weight gain equates to calories in vs. calories out.

I even believe that the "quality" of your calories matter.  100 calories of broccoli is going to fill and satisfy you more than one of those stupid 100 calorie packs of fake cookies.

Gross.  Not even REAL damn Oreos.  If it isn't an Oreo, don't call it one, okay???

According to Shape Magazine, 100 calories of broccoli is FOUR CUPS!

Yes, I am not going to sit down and eat a whopping four cups of broccoli...BUT I know that a small (say one cup) serving of broccoli is going to satisfy moreso than that pack of non-Oreos.

I know that staying active is key.  I keep active, however I want to be MORE active...but at my weight, it is hard to stay active.

I saw my doctor this morning regarding my raging headaches.

He suggested Gastric Bypass surgery.

No, he is not suggesting it because of my headaches.  He is suggesting it because of my weight gain.

I am gaining weight, despite my best efforts.

I came home crying.  I feel like this is the absolute last resort.  Does this mean I am giving up?

Hell no.

I had a breakthrough{while one hold with the insurance company} regarding this.

I have tried so many different diets and programs and regimens over the years.

I just need a little help.

I am not giving up.  I am NOT taking the easy way out.

This is going to be the first step in what will continue to be a long journey.

I still have a long, hard road ahead.  Sometimes there seems to be a bump in the road, or even a roadblock.  I just need a little help.  I just need a detour.

My doctor is helping me navigate this.  When he suggested this, it was a huge relief.  A huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.

HOWEVER...

Our insurance company says any weight loss surgery is a no-go.

Yep.  Gastric Bypass is completely excluded.  Not covered.

I called the Weight Loss Institute that my doctor wants me to go through.  I can go through with the surgery as a cash patient.

At $25,000.

Both insurance and the Weight Loss Institute suggested Big Daddy call the HR department at the school district and see if they will include weight loss surgery as part of our coverage for our next open enrollment.

Yep.  We are smack in the middle of open enrollment as we speak.

So even if HR said "sure, weight loss surgery is a good thing, not a cosmetic thing...this could save us money in the long run" it will be at least a year before I could start the ball rolling.

I am still not giving up.

Still counting calories in and calories out.

Still getting off that couch.

Just a little frustrated that, after nine years, my doctor said "lets do this"...

...and I can't.

{Love to All}

...One Year From Now...

I am not even going to start off by apologizing that I haven't blogged in awhile.  I haven't.  Nothing I can do or say will change that.  Crazy-busy.

My reason for writing today is that I have a lot to accomplish in a year.  My Origami Owl business is booming.  Thriving.  The timing of this could not be more perfect.

This year, I bought a {$250} ticket to attend the first "O2 Experience" {National Convention} in Phoenix, Arizona.  I had a room booked {$99/night} and kept my eyes and open for inexpensive flights.  Do you know how expensive it is to fly to Phoenix from Saint Louis?!?!?

Big Daddy and I were seriously debating selling my ticket and saying to heck with it.

That all changed June 17th.

I won a free ticket to convention.

You had to buy a ticket to be registered to win a ticket, so they refunded my cost.

It was a sign.  A huge flipping sign.

We figured that the $250 could be put toward my airfare.  We found roundtrip for $280.  Great news!  {Bad news, my flight home came in at 5 am!}

I am so glad that the door was open to allow me to go to convention.

What I wasn't thrilled at was that I had to go out of my "comfort zone".  I had to travel all by myself.  I had to handle things all by myself.

But I did it.

The thing that I hated was traveling at my weight.

The flights were PACKED.  Sold out.  Oversold.  Who knew that so many people wanted to leave Phoenix at midnight, only to arrive in Saint Louis at 5 am???

I was worried {again} about fitting into the plane seat.

When I travel, it is usually with Big Daddy and Little Man...they don't mind being squished near me.

The flight to Phoenix was not too bad.  I was in a window seat, and US Airways seats seem to be a bit roomier than Southwest {just my observation}.  The woman next to me was tiny {thank goodness} but I sat in that seat for three hours...I was getting antsy.

The flight home was a winner...though the seat next to me was sold {I was on an aisle this time} it didn't fill!!!  I joked with the guy in the window seat that I wasn't buckling my seatbelt until the doors were closed.  It worked, we had one of two aisles with empty seats on the whole plane!

I shared my Mini Ritz Bits and Mini Chips Ahoy with him, I was so damn happy.

All of this leads to what I have to do this time next year.  {hence, the blog title...One Year From Now}

I walked across the stage as a Team Leader.  At my highest weight.  EVER.

Here is a pic.

Yep.  That is me.  Taken 7/12/13

Horrifying.

Origami Owl announced the next conference to be 7/24/14 - 7/26/14.

One year from today.

I am NOT walking across {as Director} the stage at this weight.

I am NOT flying on a plane at this weight.

I am NOT doing anything ever again at this weight.  I can't.

If I don't lose this weight, this weight will kill me.

My goal is 100 lbs in a year.  It can be done.  It will be done.

I invite you to follow along on my journey.

I will save the whole "God's timing is perfect" for another blog post.

So much to share.

{love to all}

...random thoughts for the week...

I am slowly {but surely} getting back into the groove of things.

I had posted about not blogging in awhile because life got in the way.

Well, life is still marching on. 

I am currently battling Strep Throat.

Seriously.  I can't catch a break.

I think I have used all of my sick days.

I am too scared to look.

Here it is, the day before Easter and I am sick.

Strep is a funny beast.  I feel fine...get up and around to doing things...then crash and burn badly.

I think I am doing better, but then become tired very quickly and need to rest.

The house is a mess...we need groceries...laundry is caught up {thanks to Big Daddy}

However, I now realize that The Golden Girls is a great show, I can still recite most episodes of Roseanne word-for-word, and an episode of Hoarding: Buried Alive will get my butt in gear.

I am still on the fence as to whether or not we will be attending Easter Sunday celebrations tomorrow.  I have been on antibiotics for 36 hours now, so I should be good to go.  Of course, Big Daddy is now complaining that he isn't feeling well.  My luck, Little Man is a carrier now, too.  I don't want to get my nephews sick, I don't want to get my cousin's son sick.

The eggs are dyed, the cake is made.  We have no ham, we have no potatoes, we have no carrots.

I can throw something together, but it might involve bratwurst and macaroni & cheese.

We {seriously} need to go grocery shopping!!!

As I type this, I realize that it *might* be warm enough to grill brats tomorrow.  Might.

Last Sunday, we had 15+ inches of snow.

On March 24th, we were hit with the biggest snowstorm Big Daddy and I have seen in the ten years we have lived here.  It was the most snow Little Man had EVER seen {though he did not play in it}.

On March 24th, Big Daddy was almost on the phone with U-Haul to move back to Florida.

I still might consider it.

{love to all}

Life Happens

Yep.

Life happens.

Between the good {my Origami Owl business taking off, working 40 hours at my "part time" job during Spring break} and the bad {the snow, my recent bout of the flu and my mother's hospitalization (again)} life happened.

I have not had the time to sit and blog.

In fact, I am sitting in on an O2 webinar while I am writing this.

I am glad that life is happening, but I need a break!!!

Girls trip to New Orleans June 1 - 5.

That will be a nice break.

Origami Owl "Annua-Owl" conference in Phoenix, AZ from July 17 - 21.

Work???  A little.  Fun???  A LOT.

A family trip to Walt Disney World for Christmas...ON CHRISTMAS???

Yay!!  Yes, this is supposed to happen. 

Mom {while lying in her hospital bed} contemplated an ENTIRE family trip to The World to celebrate Christmas {ON Christmas}.  Daddy wasn't going to argue. 

We have been before Christmas.  We have been after Christmas.  I was there on Christmas {when I lived in Central Florida}.  This will be the first time the entire family will be there.

You know, even if the whole Christmas Day thing doesn't happen...I will be happy going whenever we go.

It has been too long. 

My Happy Place is waiting.

Love to All.

...Disney and Vera Bradley...

...all right...so Facebook and twitter are all a flutter...over *more* new Disney bags.

Nope...not Disney Dooney & Bourke bags.

Vera Bradley bags.

Hmmm.

Now, I will admit that I have never *owned* a Vera Bradley bag.  I honestly thought they looked a little old-ladyish.  They are sold at Hallmark stores.  They just weren't my style.

Until today.

Now, I am NOT giving up on my Disney Dooney & Bourke collection obsession.

Not at all.

But come on, how CUTE is this pattern?!?!?  {the black pattern on the right is the one that I am in LOVE with!!!}

source: Disney Parks Blog

Now...what I think still *weirds* me out a bit about the Vera Bradley bags is that they are quilted.

Of course, this is coming from a woman who carries a DD&B Sketch the size of a small suitcase.

I realize not everyone likes every style...and that is why I love that Disney is offering so many different options for adults.  We now have Dooney & Bourke, Harvey's Seatbelt Bags, Le SportSac and now, Vera Bradley.  I can't say that I am going to run out and buy the largest bag available.  I think I have to "ease" into these.  Maybe I will try a cosmetic bag first, and go from there.

I must say, Disney must be listening to their fans.  Every Dooney & Bourke Facebook fan page I belong to, has always had women *begging* for Vera Bradley

Good job, Disney for listening to what your fans want.  Thank you for bringing more stylish, fashion-forward options to us women {really, who wants a boxy old tee-shirt?!??!}.  Thank you for bringing us quality products.  Products that we don't mind investing in.

Thank you, Disney.

According to the Disney Parks Blog, these pieces will be available this fall at both the Disneyland and Walt Disney World Resorts.  There will be a "sneak peek" of the collection at the Festival Center at the Epcot International Flower and Garden Festival that runs March 6th through May 19th, 2013.

source: Disney Parks Blog

If you see these bags up close, let me know what you think!!!  I am crossing my fingers that I get to go see the Flower and Garden festival this Spring...who knows!!!  I might get to take a closer look myself!!!

{Love to All}

New, Exciting Food Offerings at Epcot's Flower and Garden Festival

I am so excited for the Epcot International Flower and Garden Festival this year.  I am even more excited than usual, because I actually might have an opportunity to experience this wonderful event again this year.  {I am keeping my fingers crossed that this might happen}

One thing that caught my attention while doing my research was the tie-in of new and exciting foods to sample at the Flower and Garden Festival.

To quote the Disney Parks Blog,“What a natural progression (it is) to go from the garden to the table,” said Michael Jenner, Epcot Park Event Content Development Manager.

That makes sense to me, for sure.  Just looking at the wonderful photos of the offerings makes my mouth water!!!

source: Disney Parks Blog

 

source: Disney Parks Blog

Holy smokes, those drinks look incredible.  The colors even scream "Spring" to me!!!

There seems to be plenty to sample, and something for every palette.  The Disney Parks Blog assures us that there will be NO repeats from the Epcot International Food and Wine Festival, and that each marketplace will have three to four dishes.  Dishes I am excited to try are: the Pig Slider with Cole Slaw from The Smokehouse at American Advenure {YUM} and Heirloom tomatoes with house-made mozzarella, vinegar and basil from The Cottage in the United Kingdom.

Oh my goodness!!!  I will have to top it off with a "grown-up" Dole Whip with Florida-made spiced rum.

Luckily, there is plenty of walking around this incredible festival to burn off those calories!!!


Disney is not forgetting the kids during this event.  Disney chefs have chosen some new and fun dishes to encourage children to try as part of Disney's new TRYit! campaign.  TRYit! is part of Disney's ongoing Magic of Healthy Living campaign.  I know I have been able to get Little Man to eat more better and become more active because of their efforts.

I think I might be inspired to try some of these "kid's" dishes, myself!!!  The Wild Berry Slush, Frushi {fruit sushi}, Lasagna Primavera, Watermelon Salad and Angel Food Cake with Florida berries sound delightful.  I think Little Man would like these, as well.

Are you planning a trip to the Walt Disney World Resort this Spring???  The Epcot International Flower and Garden Festival runs from March 6th to May 19th.  Need help planning your trip???  Contact me for a free, no obligation quote!!!

{Love to All}

...I have a new attitude...

{my outlook has changed dramatically since my blog post last night...a good night sleep, being with my family, food in my tummy (I think being hungry/not eating right doesn't help my situation)  It truly shows the highs and lows of this mental illness}

I am a creature of habit.  I am set in my ways.

I am co-dependent.

I can tackle this.

One day at a time.

I regret not going out with my friends last night.

I regret making my self sick with anxiety.

Today is a new day.

This is going to happpen.

{Love to All}

...apparently blogging is the cheapest form of therapy...

...so, here it is...Saturday night.  I am all dressed up with someplace to go.

However, I am not there.

I am trapped.  Trapped by my own anxiety.  My own illness.

Yes, I said illness.

Big Daddy is working.  Little Man is at a sleepover.  I am *supposed* to be at a going-away party for a co-worker.

A co-worker who I love, a co-worker who I adore, a co-worker whom I will miss.  Greatly.

I am showered, dressed and have my make-up just right.

However, I am sitting on my couch.  Paralyzed.

I got the text asking if I was making it to dinner.   I said I wasn't feeling well {it isn't a lie...I'm not felling well.  I am making myself sick.} and would try to make it to bowling.

However, I am not going to make it to bowling.  My mind is all over the place.  Irrational fears.

Some of my anxiety is tied to my weight.  I am certain of this.

I used to go out and have fun all of the time.

That was over 100 pounds ago.

Now I am afraid to talk to people.  People that I see every day.  I do not understand this.  I am afraid that they think I am stupid.  I am afraid they think I don't know what I am talking about.  I am afraid that I won't have anything to say.  There I'll be, the fat girl in the corner...with her Diet Coke and chicken nachos.  Everyone will be watching the fat girl eat.  Thinking how dare she go out with her friends.

This is not limited to my co-workers {whom I consider friends} but my dearest friends in the world.  Friends whom I have known for 25+ years.  Yes, we are spread out over the country...but my dearest friend lives a mere 20 minutes away...and I don't see her all that often.  That is wrong.  I even avoid my extended family.  I don't understand.  I can stand in a room full of twenty women and chat up jewelry.  I can talk to the person in line at the supermarket about how to plan the best Disney vacation ever.  People I see everyday.  They judge me.

I am embarrassed and ashamed.

I can take my meds.  I have been taking my meds.  They make me loud.  Loud and chatty.  That might help me in my current social anxiety situation.

However, I don't think it will.

When I take my pills, I start talking to the girl at the Costco photo center about my love of WWE's Edge.

Seriously.

One extreme to the other.

So here I sit.  On the couch.  In hiding.  

Avoiding life.

Something has to change.

{Love to All}

...Now it's Time to Say Goodbye...

In addition to slacking in my blogging, I was neglecting the Disney Parks InsidEARS site, as well.

Apparently, many InsidEARS were.

The site is closing.  This week.

I am honored that I was chosen to be part of the Beta Testing program over the past year.  I was invited 2/10/12.  Something told me to log in yesterday, and I am glad that I did.  There was an "important announcement for InsidEARS" announcing the end of the program.

In the release, posted at 12:07 pm by "admin", it reads:

February 2013
Greetings from Disney Parks,
We appreciate you taking an active role in our Beta Test of the Disney Parks InsidEARS program.  During the testing phases, we met new friends and enjoyed seeing, hearing and sharing your enthusiasm about Disneyland Resort and Walt Disney World Resort.
As we move forward with our Disney Parks social channels, we have decided to discontinue the Disney Parks InsidEARS program, effective this week.
As digital media evolves worldwide, Disneyland Resort and Walt Disney World Resort have become active in more and more online channels.  Two of the newest examples are our parks’ presence on Pinterest and Tumblr.  Combined with the continued growth of the Disney Parks Blog, the Disney Parks Moms Panel, the parks’ Facebook pages and Twitter feeds, we’re seeing a renaissance of sorts in the online world.
Each day we’re finding new online ways we can communicate with you, our Guest.  There are more specialized Twitter feeds for various areas of Disney Parks than ever before, and our family of individual & specialized Facebook pages has grown to include everything from pixie-dusted endurance races to attractions featuring 3-D space adventures.  Not to mention specific feeds for fans of Disney Cruise Line, Disney Vacation Club and more.
Our Disney Parks social and digital efforts are still growing.  With our current and future plans, the original goals of the InsidEARS program will be met (and hopefully exceeded) with these channels and new opportunities.
While the InsidEARS program is coming to a close at this time, we hope you will stay active with our social and digital media channels – and perhaps be introduced to some you may not have yet visited.  We appreciate your support and for taking part in this program.
So until next time, as the song goes: “…see you real soon!”


I am all right with this.  The news was the same as you could read at the Disney Parks Blog.  The discussion boards seemed a little clunky, and a bit outdated.  While I don't participate in a lot of the Disney Fan Community Boards {for personal reasons}, I will continue to support and share my love of ALL things Disney via Pinterest, Facebook, and twitter.  Until the site is completely gone, I will proudly display my InsidEARS badge.

Just some snapshots of my Disney Parks InsidEARS profile.

Are there any Disney Fan communities you are an active part of???  Why do you like them???  Would you recommend them to a Disney-newbie??? {an important question, I believe...would they be nice to someone who is not "experienced" in all-things-Disney-Parks???}  What Disney blogs do you follow???

Love to All

...Short, Sweet and To the Point...

Oy. 

My goal to blog every day tanked. 

Again.

Life got in the way. 

I am trying to find the balance.  It is getting better.  It is getting easier.

My little business is taking off like wild.  It, however, is consuming a LOT of my time.

I am finally getting the ball rolling on my travel planning business!!!  I love it!!!  I actually purchased a domain last week{!!!} 

My mother's health has been iffy over the past month.  She had surgery just this morning.  She was hospitalized in mid-January, and I don't think she has fully recovered.  I am NOT ready for my parents to age.

While Big Daddy's inheritance from his mother is a blessing, the tax headache involved is a nightmare.  I don't know how if we'll recover.

That being said, January through April are always rough for us, finance-wise.  This year, is particularly hard.  I think it is the combination of my cut in hours, which led us to have to pay {out of Big Daddy's paycheck} to insure Little Man and myself. 

It was *so* nice when Big Daddy and I were both full time employees of the same school district!!!

Big Daddy has taken on a second job.

Yep.  He is working 16 hour days, three days a week.

I love that he has stepped up for our family.  I hate that he has to do it, though.

Little Man is doing okay.  I am not going to candy-coat it.  His anxiety is off the charts.

I blame myself.

I blame the fact that therapy is $85 {AFTER insurance} for a forty-five minute session.  Once a week, it adds up.  Insurance stinks.  Once we meet the d*mn deductible, he can go back.  Until then, I can't afford to pay full price.  He loves his therapist, and I hate that it is so expensive. 

I see him slipping back.

Yep.  That is just the tip of the iceberg.  There is SO much more going on, but that is what I am limiting myself to this evening.  I have to set limits, or I begin to let things consume me.

I am setting a realistic expectation when it comes to blogging.  I. Can't. Do. It. Every. Day.

Yet.

I am going to do my best, and if it isn't an every day thing, then it isn't.  I am all right with that.  Hopefully it will bloom into something bigger and better, but for now I am content.

Love to All.

MyMagic+ and MagicBands

Well, today Disney announced via it's Disney Parks Blog that they are ready to roll out their "MyMagic+" program.

Hmmm.

I can't say much about it, right now.  I don't know what to think.

Micro-manage my vacation???

I am NOT that kind of traveler.

I don't even like what the ADRs have become.  Waking up at 6am on day 180 and trying to map out where to eat when is not my idea of fun.  Just read this previous post.

According to the Blog, Disney has "devoted considerable time and resources to create a more immersive, more seamless and more personal experience for each and every guest who spends time with us".

Making Fastpass reservations on your smartphone while "playing" in one park for the park that you *foresee* visiting the next day???  While working around any ADRs you have made???  I don't know about this.

Photo: Disney Parks Blog

This photo {the Blog states that a Guest is utilizing MyMagic+ at Disney's Animal Kingdom, but that looks like a Jungle Cruise costume} shows the happy family walking right through the "turnstile" at this attraction, just holding up their MagicBand to the reader.  The Cast Member smiles as they walk through, apparently no problems using the prearranged Fastpass for this attraction.

Maybe I am *nostalgic*, but I miss the days where we might have had one ADR planned.  My parents would let us know where we were expected to meet for lunch/dinner and when we were expected to be there.  {if we had breakfast ADRs, we would all go together to start our day}  My sisters, brother and I would decide who wanted to go where...and we paired up with someone.

I would have said something like, "I was thinking I wanted to spend the morning at Epcot to go around Future World, then park hop over to MGM Studios to ride Tower, Coaster and catch Fantasmic! ???  Who wants to join me???

Sister #2 might say, "MGM sounds good, but I wanted to go to the Magic Kingdom because I didn't get to ride Carousel of Progress and the WEDway PeopleMover yet".

Mom would chime in and say, "Don't forget, we have reservations at Prime Time at 5:45.  Be there around 5:30"

Sister #3 would say "I haven't been to Blizzard Beach yet, I wanted to spend some time there".  Then Sister #1 and Brother would say "That sounds good, we'll join you".

I would say "Okay, Sister #2.  Magic Kingdom then MGM Studios it is.  I love CoP and WEDWay".

Then we would leave the villa at Disney Vacation Club Old Key West Resort and go on with our day.

{Our parents???  Usually parked themselves on a bench in one of the parks.  They drive 17 hours in a van with their five children, surrounded by world class entertainment and attractions...and they love to just sit and peoplewatch}

See...we did not micro-manage a darn thing.

Sure, we were lucky enough to get to Walt Disney World more often than most of our friends and family, so we almost have a "been there, done that" attitude on our trips.  I just love the relaxed nature of our *old* trips.

Big Daddy and I have even joked that nine years after the fact, we *still* tour the parks as Cast Members.  We go around with the "we can see it next time" attitude.  We have passed that down to Little Man.

Heck, I don't want to IMAGINE Little Man micro-managing any part of our trip.  Micro-managing ANYTHING, for that matter.

The part that worries me most about the "MyMagic+" program is the MagicBand.

Photo: Disney Parks Blog

This photo seems to be of a Guest entering a park using the MagicBand.  Here is a brief explanation from the Disney Parks Blog of the MagicBand.

"Linking the entire MyMagic+ experience together is an innovative piece of technology we developed called the MagicBand. Worn on the wrist, it will serve as a guest’s room key, theme park ticket, access to FastPass+ selections, PhotoPass card and optional payment account all rolled into one."

While I am super-excited that my room key, park pass, PhotoPass card and credit card are all in one place, I can't say that I am excited that it is a bracelet.

I worry about Little Man {Mr. Super-Sensory-Aversion} and a bracelet.  I think he will FREAK out.  Heck, I don't like wearing bracelets...especially bracelets that don't fit me quite right.  I have not worn a watch in nearly ten years.

I won't discount it totally until I try it out myself.  I can't even say that I will pass judgement {save the whole nostalgic thing} until I try MyMagic+.

What are your thoughts about MyMagic+???  Do you micro-manage your trips???  Do you take the "Cast Member" approach to your trips???  Do you fall somewhere in between???

{Love to All}

PS...the whole MagicBand thing sounds like something a pregnant woman wears to make her pants stretchy or something.  Maybe it is just me and my weird sense of humor.

Taking a Leap of Faith

My favorite recreational activity at Walt Disney World is shopping.  Anyone who knows me knows my love affair with a) all things Disney and b) shopping.  I used this to my advantage *many* years ago when I was a Cast Member with The Disney Stores.  I loved that job so much...I had so much fun.

This looks like the store that I worked at in the mid-90s.  We took so much pride in that store!!!  The Camp Rock posters in the windows lead me to believe this is 2008...I was a Disney Store CM then, too!!!  Image: Google Search

 

One day, something clicked...and I walked into my Manager's office. 

"You know, I think I want to work at Walt Disney World"

Everyone who knew me, knew this day would come.  It wasn't a surprise...it was just a matter of when.

I packed up my little Ford Probe {I loved that car}, my parents packed up their GMC Safari {can't tell you how many trips to WDW that old van made!!!} and my younger brother  with me {he was eleven at the time}.  I knew virtually nobody.  I found a roommate via "Eyes and Ears", the WDW Cast newspaper {ummm, okay...looking back, I was rooming with a STRANGER!!!}.  My parents set me up with some basics for my apartment.  Then they left.

I was on my own.  In a new state.  Knowing nobody. New job {that couldn't start until I took Traditions. Again. Two Weeks after I moved.}  I enjoyed those two weeks as much as I could, while not spending *too* much of my savings!!!  I was still able to get into the Disney Parks, because I had transferred from The Disney Store, so I was still an employee of the company. 

I survived Traditions {and I stood out as a "Disney Nerd"...hello, I was a Traditions Leader for the Stores!!!} and started my job at World of Disney.

This is where I started as a WDW CM.  I stood at this (or the other two) door and said "Hi, Welcome to World of Disney" for eight hours a day.  And I loved it.

I made some amazing friends, and learned some new trades.  This is where I would learn how to use the engraving machine.  If I wasn't standing at a door greeting Guests all day, or wasn't at the Information Desk trying to locate that special souvenir somewhere on property, then I was engraving items.  Ornaments, pens, watches, Boston Marathon Medals {seriously...the most nerve-wracking item I ever worked on!!!} 

One of my managers at WOD got a call from a manager at {then} MGM Studios.  They were short-staffed and needed an experienced engraver to pick up some overtime.  Being the broke-newly-on-my-own new Cast Member, I totally jumped at the chance to pick up some shifts {extra shifts = extra $$$}

I LOVED working at Head to Toe.  It was a tiny shop, the ladies there pretty much ran their own show {since the managers had no idea how to run the machines} and I was having FUN.  I picked up as many shifts as I could.

Head-to-Toe.  Don't blink, or you may miss this Right Block Shop, just past the 5 & 10 and before L.A. Prop.  Image: Google Search. 

The more shifts I picked up there, the more I realized I was meant to work at this shop, inside this theme park.  I got to know many of the ladies there, most of whom were retirees who worked part time...not someone just-on-their-own looking to work as much as possible.  I got LOTS of shifts.

The more I got to know the ladies in the shop, the more they began to "mother" me.  This was NOT a bad thing.  They fed me {I lost an *amazing* amount of weight being poor!!!}  they would cut my hair for free {retired hairstylist, not just a woman with scissors} they took care of me. 

They also meddled.

This, as it turns out, was not a bad thing.

"You ought to talk to him, he is a good guy", they said.

"He is such a family man.  He takes care of his younger brother.  Family.", they said.

"He works so hard.  He is so nice.  Talk to him.", they said.

Well...thirteen years after a first lunch together in the MGM Cast Cafeteria, that nice guy and I are still together.  Made a move {back home} to Missouri, got married, had a baby, experienced highs and lows, joys and triumphs.

That leap of faith was the best move I ever made. 

Big Daddy has talked about moving back to Florida.

We have this discussion every winter.  We have had the same discussion for the past eight winters.

This time, I *might* be ready.

But I am scared.

I need to find what was deep down inside me that day that I marched into my Manager's office at the old Disney Store.  That seems SO long ago.  That was a different girl.  That was a girl who was confident, who had no care in the world.  She just wanted to follow a dream.

There is so much more hanging in the balance.  So much that we have to consider now.

Such a roller coaster ride.

Will be giving this much thought.

{Love to All}

...so I missed a day, but I didn't...really, I didn't...

...so, I broke my first resolution already...

Sort of.

I technically did not blog.  Here.

I did not nap {right away} when I came home from work Friday morning.  I worked on my Origami Owl orders for a bit. 

And I worked on the template for my Origami Owl blog!!!

It isn't much, but I invite you to check it out!!! 


I didn't blog here last night.

I thought I was going to die yesterday.  Seriously.

I had a nasty, nasty migraine.

I get them, but I have not had one this bad in a long time.

My "magic mix" {three Excedrin and a 44 oz. Diet Mountain Dew} did not work.

I can't take prescription migraine medication...it makes my back hurt. (?!?!?)

It was so bad, that I left work a little early...cried the entire four-minute drive home, managed to stay sitting upright position for fifteen minutes {the time it takes to bake pizza rolls (again) for Little Man} then crawled into bed to stay semi-coherent until Big Daddy came home {I don't like to "sleep on the job" while Big Daddy is at work and it is just the two of us at home}.

The migraine was so bad that I asked Little Man if he knew how to get a hold of Big Daddy, Grandma Nana and Papa or his Aunties if something happened to me.

I did not want to worry him, but I was afraid of passing out or something.

I seriously stayed in bed for six hours.  I kept the lights dimmed and watched TV.  I normally sleep in a quiet, dark room.  I kept the lights dimmed because the TV by itself was too bright.  Little Man checked in on me.  He is so sweet and caring.

I finally felt a little more human right before Big Daddy came home.  I got out of bed for about a half an hour.  Then went right back.

I slept pretty soundly, and woke up before nine this morning {for a Saturday...that is UNUSUAL for me...unless I have a vendor event or something}

A lazy day today.  Little Man insisted on unplugging the Christmas tree today.  I worked on taking all of the ornaments off.  There is nothing more depressing than a half-dressed unlit Christmas tree.  I had to plug it back in while I work on it.  a) it is easier for me to find the ornaments inside and b) it is just prettier to look at it all lit up.

This would also explain my out-of-control electric bill.  The tree never turns off.

We also worked on "organizing" Little Man's toys.  I am trying to help him stay organized {without being so OCD about it} and know where his things are {without obsessing about it}  I used bins that I already had around the house.  However, I am learning that none of our bins have the right lids.  This could be quite an adventure trying to find these lids.  I am determined to use what I have for now {while finances are squeaky}  This is one time that I am {semi} thankful for my {hoarder} husband bringing crap stuff home.  In this case, he brought home a shelf system with shoebox sized cubbies home {that was from a former preschool classroom}.  I am going to clean it up, for sure.  I would like to refinish it, but it is not high on my priority list. 

Of course, I just want to get rid of the old and organize the new.  Last night, in my migraine-induced fog, I *think* Big Daddy talked about moving back to Florida.

I *think* I might have agreed.

Oy.

{Love to All}

...a hard habit to break...

...so it is another late night...more wrestling practice...more busy-ness...more stuff...

...more naps...

I already broke one {in-my-head} resolution...that I was going to STOP my nap habit.

Bad, bad nap habit.

No, seriously.  It is a UBER bad habit.

I work a "split shift.  I work from 7-830 am...then again from 245-615 pm.  Great for a "stay at home" Mom like myself.  However, Little Man is in school when I am at home, so I still have to *pay* for him to go to out-of-school care. 

I basically sign my paycheck {from the school district} back to the school district.

"Wow, what do you do with ALL of that time from about 9 am to 2 pm???"  You might ask.  Do you clean, organize, volunteer your time, promote one of your *many* business endeavors ???

Nope.

I sleep.

Yep, because seven-ish hours a night just aren't *quite* enough, I require an additional three-ish hours a day.  In the form of a nap.

It was a habit I never intended to begin.  It just sort of, happened.

It is a habit that I have to break.  It is just a HARD one to break.

Of course, I may be breaking it next week.  I am not certain how well I am going to sleep tonight...seeing as it is almost 1030 pm, and I am *just* finishing up a delicious fountain Diet Mountain Dew.

You see, old habits are hard to break.

{Love to All}

...I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

I have {oh so many} awesome posts floating around in my head.

Seriously.  I do.

I just don't sit down and type them out.

Here it is, 9:57 in the evening...we just got home.  A whole (9-6) day at work, Wrestling practice until 8:15...had to run to Target {we were *almost* out of tp}...and I was feeding Little Man Pizza Rolls at 9:24 pm.

Hey.  It might not be gourmet, the best food I could have fed him, or even remotely healthy...BUT ee didn't eat out.

My challenge to Little Man is that he takes a shower in the time that it takes to "cook" dinner.  Tonight was 9-10 minutes.  He finished in eight. 

He is tucked all snug in his bed.  I am not certain that he brushed his teeth.

So, I might not be able to type out the wit and wisdom that is floating around in my head...but I am going to try to be the best darn Mommy and wife that I can be. 

I am going to do my best to type a bit each and every day...however, I am not going to let it take away from my real job.  Yes, I have a LOT of plates spinning right now.   Mom, wife, PT employee {at our elementary school with a special needs kindergartener}, Origami Owl designer, Travel Professional...heck, I have even signed up to be a Thirty-One consultant.  I am doing my best to balance it all...BUT I need my downtime.  My downtime just seems to find me on my laptop...I am going to try to actually do something productive when I am doing nothing.

Oh, the irony.

Long story short...my resolve this month {yes, MONTH...a fabulous blog that I follow sparked the idea to break your goals down month-by-month} is to blog everyday.  Yes, it is the same goal that the featured blogger chose for January.  This seems to be my resolve every time I sit down to my laptop.

Seriously.  I have it floating around in my head all. the. time.  {you are on your laptop...why aren't you blogging?!?!?}

I am not {what's the word???} confident positive certain going to jump the gun and map out my goals for each and every month.  I have to see how the first month goes, and what the next month might bring.

We will see how this goes. 

I totally can do this.

We will see if it happens.  The stuff in my head needs to get out!!!

{Love to All}

Catching Up...Again

I really don't have much to say about the whole "out with the old, in with the new thing.  Yes, a new year is upon us...however, today feels like...just another day.

So much is going on...I am glad to have put 2012 behind me.  I am ready to take 2013 on headfirst.

I go back to work tomorrow after being (mostly) off for eleven days.  I did work one day, but it was such an easy day, it doesn't really count.  :)

Little Man was spoiled rotten this Christmas...and we stayed within a budget.  It was buy him one item that he really, REALLY wanted (WiiU) or several small items.  We opted to get him several smaller items.  Our budget (don't judge) was $350.00...and to be quite honest, I was not all that impressed with what $350 got him!!!

I will post photos soon...my camera is in the other room, more than half dead.

We had a lovely Christmas Eve with my dad's extended family...a quiet Christmas morning with just the three of us {Big Daddy got some bad news...his father passed away Christmas Eve} and had my family over for a Christmas Day late lunch/early dinner.  It was a nice day.  

I have been mastering the art of using the Crock-Pot (again) and working with the food that we have in the pantry (since we don't have a lot of breathing room finance-wise right now).  I have only worn jeans twice in the last two weeks.  I love my yoga pants and my new fuzzy black slippers.

My mom got me a really cute little Disney Dooney and Bourke mini-barrel purse {WDW Retro style} for Christmas and my uncle got me the aforementioned fuzzy black slippers and a gift card to The Childrens Place {it is what I asked for.  seriously}  He also got me Godiva truffles.  Which were gone by 12/26.

Ummm...we had an Elf on the Shelf.  What a disaster.  I should have known.  Little Man wasn't quite ready for it.

New Year's Eve was uneventful.  We watched my nephews.  Again.  Cupcakes and a campout, that is how I roll.

I have taken some time off from my Origami Owl business.  No worries.  Just for the holidays.  My last party was 12/6 (online was 12/8).  I had to deal with shipping deadlines, mixed up orders, missing charms.  I haven't checked my Facebook fan page in about two weeks.  I had to learn when to say no.  My family comes first.  I am amazed at the opportunities that O2 has in store for me.  I will be getting back to the "grind" tomorrow.  Until then, I am enjoying the time relaxing. 

We had to cancel our Christmas trip to Walt Disney World.  Really, REALLY bummed about that.  The timing was all wrong.  All wrong.  Things should be good in 2013 for us to reschedule.  I have my "milestone" birthday this year.  I am SO going to WDW for a few days. 

Big Daddy is looking to get a second job  Seriously.  I don't know how I feel about that.  I hate that it has come to that.  I love my job, and am working a decent amount of hours (about 25-ish a week)...but what is KILLING us is that we now pay insurance.  When Big Daddy and I were both full-time employees at the school district, we paid almost NOTHING for coverage for the family.  Now, Big Daddy has to pay to cover me and Little Man.  It feels like we can't catch up here of late.

We are still {we are ALWAYS} on the fence about moving back to Florida.  A former co-worker has done A LOT of research into schools for us.  I feel that is a sign...that a friend, who I worked with for only four years, has taken the time out of her own life to look into this for us.  A sign we may have to follow.  Again, on the fence.

Little Man is wrestling with the junior club at our high school.  He LOVES it.  He is learning so much.  He isn't very good {yet}...but I have a feeling he will get better the more he works at it.  He {and I, as well} has to realize that we don't master everything 100% the first time we try something.  Luckily, Big Daddy knows people at the high school, and Little Man got a medal at his first tournament.  I am normally not a proponent of "every kid gets an award no matter how they do"...until it is my son who is devastated and in tears because he came in fourth place {out of four wrestlers}.  I cried.  I know I looked like an amateur sports mom.  More on that in another post.

So, that has been my life over the past four-six weeks.  I know I have lagged in the blogging thing, but it is my resolve {again} to get back into it.  I spent my NYE (yes, LAME) reading new "mommy blogs".  It inspired me.  Seriously.  I think it can be theraputic.

{Love to All}