Monday, August 15, 2011

...a kick in the big, fat, gut... I had a doctor's appointment get a skin tag on my neck removed.  Pretty routine.  I have had the tag for the better part of ten years, and it really hasn't bothered me, until recently.  I get pretty tired of the preschoolers pointing at my neck and asking "what is that???".  It has also been getting caught in Little Miss M's hair when she sits in my lap...OUCH!!!  My General Practitioner was able to remove it in his office...the "procedure" was super-fast, it took longer for me to get comfortable in the chair than it did to get the tag removed.  Pretty painless...taking the Band-Aid off of my neck will probably hurt most of all!!! 

No, the procedure was pretty painless...the most painful part was stepping on the scale.

I dread the scale.  I loathe the scale.  Sometimes I love the scale.  I obsess over the scale.

Today, I hopped on the scale, feeling pretty confident.  Not that I thought I had lost a great deal of weight or anything, but I was expecting to see a better number than I last saw...I figured I probably lost a pound or two...eating somewhat better and all of the activity I get chasing around Little Miss M at had to account for something, right?!?!?

I have gained four pounds.

I now weigh more than I did when I delivered Little Man.  I am 25 pounds heavier than I was when I had Little Man.  That was seven years ago.

The number scares me.  The number terrifies me.  I feel it.  I am tired.  Something has to change.  I am not good with this, this is how I got here.  I can do it, I have done it before...but I am not good at it.  Even as much as I was scared when I saw the number, what did I do tonight???  Yeah, a Happy Meal, Jack in the Box tacos and a big ol' Diet Coke.  Procrastination, I am really, really good at.

Oh, my head is spinning.  Let's see how tomorrow goes.  First step, setting the alarm to be out the door at 5:15 am to get to the gym.  Seeing as it is seven hours from now, I am not holding my breath...but will hope for the best.

Love to All. 

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