Tuesday, June 30, 2009

..when I don't report...I fall off track...

Yes...I have fallen off the wagon big time. I am not going to make any excuses. I am weak when it comes to food. It tastes so good, and makes me so happy...until I feel sick to my stomach from eating too much...OR until I catch a glimpse of myself. I can't believe what I have become...I can't believe how I have let myself go.

I just don't get it.

I used to have such energy, I used to be so full of life. Michael brings me so much joy...but I don't feel any joy about myself...

I don't mean to sound so sour or down...I am just in a funk.

We took Michael to a Cardinals game this evening...and he was having so much fun. I could only focus on how I did not fit into the seat...or how the rolls of fat would show up in photos. Poor baby had no idea how miserable I felt.

I feel badly for him in the sense that he does not have a mother that can keep up with him. I truly feel that if I don't change something...well, I don't want to think about that.

Today is a new day.

I am ready for a change.

Love to everyone!!! :0)

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