...buzzing bugs and grieving...

Today has been a better day.

We had an awesome therapy session.  It was the first one I had been able to attend in awhile.  I think we are on the right track {as long as I can handle the office staff...they aren't the most pleasant...yes, I am talking to YOU St. Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute}

Little Man's session started about ways we can work on dealing with his issue with loud noises...the lawn mower, the vacuum, etc. {I didn't mention to his therapist that he freaks out at the sound of the vacuum because it is rarely used!}  I did let her know that he doesn't have much of an issue with loud noises, because we have hired a lawn service to cut the lawn every other week {mainly because of Big Daddy's foot, and my schedule} BUT he is having an issue with bugs.

Bugs.

We spent forty minutes of our fifty-minute session discussing bugs.  The kind that "buzz".

We often have joked that Little Man can hear a fly before it enters the room.

The funny thing is, that it is true.

His therapist has a white board hanging in her office.  He has always loved writing/drawing on it.  They were discussing what he could do if he heard/saw a buzzing bug.  He asked if he could draw it out.

Of course, she let him.

His drawing was all-telling.  He drew his room.  His door, his bed, his TV and him.  All in "normal" perspective for a drawing.

Then he drew the bug.

It was huge.  As big as the room.

At first I thought he was being goofy, then it hit me.

This is what the bug looks/sounds like to him.

He is terrified of this bug {I will admit that I don't like bugs, but he is extreme} and it is larger than life to him.

It made me realize that so many things {to him} are larger than life.  When we say a week is a long time, it truly is.  He sometimes has a hard time remembering his goals at 2pm when we have a 9am appointment.

This is why he struggles. 

He has a hard time remembering what is important and what can be left alone.  He has a hard time gauging time and space.

In the last five minutes, I was able to talk to his therapist about some recent goings on.  Some goals that Role Model mentioned just that morning.  She thought the ideas that Role Model and I {mainly Role Model, I have to give him mad props} came up with were excellent, and she can't wait to hear how it goes when they are implemented. As Little Man was walking out, I mentioned to her that he ADORES Role Model and he really "lost" him this year, and I had a feeling that is why we were seeing the change in behavior. 

She said, "of course there is a change in his behavior.  He is grieving."

Grieving.  I teared up.

Of course.  Little Man feels like he lost his best friend.  He feels abandoned.

What is a little fly buzzing around to me happens to be an ugly, loud, nasty, gross, huge nest full of angry Horse Flies as big as his head to Little Man.

That spoke to me in volumes.  I have to let it all sink in.  My Little Man is dealing with is emotions, and when you are nine years old losing your best friend is the worst feeling in the world.

I am going to think and pray {yes, pray} this weekend.

{love to all}