Where to Start???

Wow.  It has been awhile.  I know that I often pledge to get back into the blogging thing.  Yes, this is something that I WANT to do.  It is something that I think that I could be pretty good at.  It doesn't have to be anything earth-shattering or ground-breaking.  Just life.  Everyday life.  The good and the bad.  I'll get back into the routine. 

Things are still crazy.  Depression has its mighty grip on me.  I am struggling.  I am not sure what is going on.  I need to talk to someone.  I probably need to be on something as well.  Our insurance is kind of crazy now.  We are still on the High Deductible Health Plan.  Sucks at first, until the deductible is met.  We are a little more than halfway there.  Once we meet the deductible, everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) is paid for 100%.  Meds, office visits, hospitalization.  This means that my hour long visits with my therapist (at around a hundred bucks a pop) will cost me nothing.  I hate being of the mindset that I can't see my therapist, psychologist or get my meds until we meet this deductible.  It is MY mindset.  I think it comes from the guilt of spending all sorts of money over the years.  Of course, I still don't think that I am 100% "cured" of my shopping addiction.  Big Daddy encourages me to see the doctors that I need to.  I just don't listen.

The house is no longer on the clean spree that it had been over the past couple of months.  It is not totally lost, though.  We are going through everything in preparation for the move.  Yes, the move.  I am still in TOTAL denial about this.  I love this house, but in reality, it can't be ours.  I am moving at a snails pace, though.

Little Man is doing all right.  We take things one day at a time with him.  Yet another doctor recommended "intense outpatient therapy" for him.  I had a heart-to-heart with the assistant principal of our school (who has a son who is mentally disabled) who has been in my shoes.  I feel a little bit better about everything that is going on.

As far as Little Man goes, we are dealing with a lot at school.  I am not sure if I have touched on it before {man, I need to be better about this whole blogging thing} but his first grade teacher went on maternity leave back in November.  About the substitute teacher they brought in, lets just say that she is not the right fit.  Not the right fit for my son, not the right fit for a child with special needs, not the right fit for a first grader in general!!!  The principal has apologized to me for this.  We have been playing a waiting game.  Everyone just kind of assumed that his teacher {who was touted to me at the end of kindergarten to be "the best" for Little Man, and she was...but, HELLO she was pregnant and everyone knew she was going to be gone for at least three months, but I digress}.  Where was I???  Yes, everyone kind of assumed that his teacher would be back after about three months of maternity leave.  She was due 11/11/11, but delivered 11/17/11.  Figured she would be back mid-February.  Yay!!!  Little Man WAS doing spectacularly with his teacher.  She understood him, she nurtured him, she cared about him.  Yay!!!  He was doing SO well.  His school work was off the charts, he didn't have any referrals (to the office or to his case manager), he was making friends.  Then maternity leave happened.  Silly me, I thought the sub would be just like his teacher.  Wrong.  The first time I met "Ms. X", she seemed pleasant enough.  Remember, I am in the school nearly 40 hours a week for work...add volunteer work on top of that, and I see and hear a lot of what goes on. 

Disclaimer: This is not coming from me, this is coming from other parents in the class, co-workers of mine and other teachers/professionals in the building.

Mrs. X is pretty harsh.  She seems to have singled two children out, and is harder on them than the rest of the class.  One of those children happens to be my son.  No, Little Man does not fit the mold of the "perfect little learner".  She doesn't seem to "get" that.

His schoolwork has slipped, his anxiety is through the roof.  He is being bullied.  He is getting things taken from his backpack. 

I am frustrated. 

You might ask, well here it is March 7th.  Isn't his teacher back from maternity leave???

No.

It was said she might be back Mid-March.  When I learned that {back around Christmas} I thought, okay.  We can TOTALLY get through this.  Mid-March.  We'll just hang in there.

Then we learned IF she is coming back, it won't be until the end of the school year.

No, things are getting worse for Little Man, and after the last class birthday party I attended, things are getting worse for ALL of the kids in the class.  Little Man's case manager {and one principal} suggested he move to a different class.  Big Daddy and I have reservations about this.  Little Man doesn't know a whole lot about what is going on.  He is smart, but naive.  He still loves school.  He still loves his friends.  Taking him out of this class means taking him away from his two best friends.  I we won't do that to him.

No, we are riding out the next couple of months.  I hope I make it.  This sounds awful, but I have almost given up on first grade.

I just hope he hasn't suffered academically.  He is SO stinkin' smart, I just hope he hasn't lost ground.

Yep, still taking things one day at at time.

So, that was tonight's long, rambling, its good to be back post.  So much to write about.  So much to do.

Love to All.