Now, how do I arrange for a one person Little League team?!?!?
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Ummm...Walt Disney World. To those of you who really know me...this should come as no surprise!!!
Love to All.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
...wiped out...again...
...so this will be short and sweet...I worked another "long" day with the preschoolers today. I am tired and I ache. Little Man had swim lessons today. His instructor advised that he enroll in private lessons...because of social skills, temper tantrums and over the last three lessons, he is falling behind. I am actually okay with this. I don't want to take swim lessons away from him...he loves them so much. BUT, I don't want him to get frustrated. Yes, these lessons are going to cost a little more, but I think the payoff will be worth it.
Now, how do I arrange for a one person Little League team?!?!?
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Ummm...Walt Disney World. To those of you who really know me...this should come as no surprise!!!
Love to All.
Now, how do I arrange for a one person Little League team?!?!?
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Ummm...Walt Disney World. To those of you who really know me...this should come as no surprise!!!
Love to All.
Monday, April 4, 2011
...ick...
...I feel icky, oh so icky...
I did not sleep well last night. I stayed up later than usual (watching Wrestlemania, of all things...) and we had severe storms roll in the area around 2:30. Pair both of those with waking up at 5:30, and all I wanted to do was come home and go back to sleep.
Yeah, didn't happen.
One of the Preschool Teacher's Assistants called in sick, so I was asked to work until 2pm. I am wiped out. It is not like I have not done this before, because I have. Today, all day, all I could think about was how my weight is LITERALLY weighing me down. Preschoolers are so active...so full of energy. I could barely keep up. All of the ups and downs and bending and stretching. Even before I was asked to work late, I thought my knees were giving out. When the kiddos got out their mats and blankets for naptime, many of them asked for me to rub their backs, so they could fall asleep. Of course, I obliged...but I kept thinking to myself how I must have looked like a big blob of goo (much like Jabba The Hutt) "rolling" around the floor going from kid to kid. Ick.
So I worked from 6:30 am - 2 pm. I did not know I was going to be working past 8:30, so I did not eat anything. Of course, my supervisors and the Preschool teacher offered to give me a break if I wanted to grab something to eat. Heavens, no!!! I don't like to eat in front of anyone, so I declined. I could just wait until I got off of work at 2, right??? Wrong. I binged on, of all things, McDonalds. Ick. Then I had pizza for dinner. I am literally dry heaving. I feel fine, I am just gagging from the amount of food just sitting in my stomach right now.
I don't know if I am strong enough to change, yet something needs to be done. Yes, I have done Weight Watchers before...with moderate success...but I don't stick with it long enough to see it through. Yes, they tell me (and I know) that it is a lifestyle change. Right now, my lifestyle is lazy. Barely doing enough to get by. This all has to change. I am scared. For the first time ever (if you can believe this) the other day, it hit me...this is the only life that I have to live. Right now, I am dying. This addiction, this obesity, this lifestyle is killing me. I can't sugar-coat it. It is killing me.
Apparently, I have to be in the "right" mental state of mind to get the health/fitness part underway. Will this ever happen??? How do I make it happen??? I have a feeling that I will be making a call to my therapist soon.
So, I am on day 4 of the 30 day blogging challenge...I think it all kind of ties in to today's post...
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
I honestly wish I could say that eating was a habit that I wish I didn't have...but I know that we have to eat to live. I just can't live to eat. I need to change my relationship with food. It can't rule my life. I have to know when to stop. I have to learn control.
I really don't have any "bad" habits to speak of. I tried a cigarette ONCE (and it was 13 years ago) when I had been drinking with friends...and vomited. I don't drink to speak of...I have not had a drink in years. I think I had a beer five or six years ago. I always said that I would rather eat my calories than drink them (that is why I love Diet Coke). I have curbed my spending habit. I guess one of my "habits" is Disney...but I don't regret that one. Yes, I would say that the OVEReating is a habit that I wish I didn't have.
That is about all I know. Hopefully the next post will be a little more positive!!! I am in a pretty good mood, just tired and very full.
Love to All.
I did not sleep well last night. I stayed up later than usual (watching Wrestlemania, of all things...) and we had severe storms roll in the area around 2:30. Pair both of those with waking up at 5:30, and all I wanted to do was come home and go back to sleep.
Yeah, didn't happen.
One of the Preschool Teacher's Assistants called in sick, so I was asked to work until 2pm. I am wiped out. It is not like I have not done this before, because I have. Today, all day, all I could think about was how my weight is LITERALLY weighing me down. Preschoolers are so active...so full of energy. I could barely keep up. All of the ups and downs and bending and stretching. Even before I was asked to work late, I thought my knees were giving out. When the kiddos got out their mats and blankets for naptime, many of them asked for me to rub their backs, so they could fall asleep. Of course, I obliged...but I kept thinking to myself how I must have looked like a big blob of goo (much like Jabba The Hutt) "rolling" around the floor going from kid to kid. Ick.
So I worked from 6:30 am - 2 pm. I did not know I was going to be working past 8:30, so I did not eat anything. Of course, my supervisors and the Preschool teacher offered to give me a break if I wanted to grab something to eat. Heavens, no!!! I don't like to eat in front of anyone, so I declined. I could just wait until I got off of work at 2, right??? Wrong. I binged on, of all things, McDonalds. Ick. Then I had pizza for dinner. I am literally dry heaving. I feel fine, I am just gagging from the amount of food just sitting in my stomach right now.
I don't know if I am strong enough to change, yet something needs to be done. Yes, I have done Weight Watchers before...with moderate success...but I don't stick with it long enough to see it through. Yes, they tell me (and I know) that it is a lifestyle change. Right now, my lifestyle is lazy. Barely doing enough to get by. This all has to change. I am scared. For the first time ever (if you can believe this) the other day, it hit me...this is the only life that I have to live. Right now, I am dying. This addiction, this obesity, this lifestyle is killing me. I can't sugar-coat it. It is killing me.
Apparently, I have to be in the "right" mental state of mind to get the health/fitness part underway. Will this ever happen??? How do I make it happen??? I have a feeling that I will be making a call to my therapist soon.
So, I am on day 4 of the 30 day blogging challenge...I think it all kind of ties in to today's post...
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
I honestly wish I could say that eating was a habit that I wish I didn't have...but I know that we have to eat to live. I just can't live to eat. I need to change my relationship with food. It can't rule my life. I have to know when to stop. I have to learn control.
I really don't have any "bad" habits to speak of. I tried a cigarette ONCE (and it was 13 years ago) when I had been drinking with friends...and vomited. I don't drink to speak of...I have not had a drink in years. I think I had a beer five or six years ago. I always said that I would rather eat my calories than drink them (that is why I love Diet Coke). I have curbed my spending habit. I guess one of my "habits" is Disney...but I don't regret that one. Yes, I would say that the OVEReating is a habit that I wish I didn't have.
That is about all I know. Hopefully the next post will be a little more positive!!! I am in a pretty good mood, just tired and very full.
Love to All.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
...day by day...
...today has been a bit of a struggle. Sometimes I feel like a defiant child. When I get told something, I want to do the opposite. Every day, I have to work at this.
We are watching Wrestlemania 27 this evening (again, don't judge!!!) so I will make this short and sweet tonight...
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
...this is a photo of me, Lisa and Lia. I have known Lisa since we were 11, and in the same sixth grade class. She now lives near Boston. I have know Lia since we were about 13 and in (awkward) middle school. Lia lives about 20 minutes away, and ashamedly, I don't spend enough time with her. Embarassingly, this photo was taken aout a year and a half ago. I need to a) spend more time with friends and b) take more pictures...of friends, Little Man, life in general.
That is about all I have for now.
Love to All.
We are watching Wrestlemania 27 this evening (again, don't judge!!!) so I will make this short and sweet tonight...
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
...this is a photo of me, Lisa and Lia. I have known Lisa since we were 11, and in the same sixth grade class. She now lives near Boston. I have know Lia since we were about 13 and in (awkward) middle school. Lia lives about 20 minutes away, and ashamedly, I don't spend enough time with her. Embarassingly, this photo was taken aout a year and a half ago. I need to a) spend more time with friends and b) take more pictures...of friends, Little Man, life in general.
That is about all I have for now.
Love to All.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
...had a good day...almost forgot about day two...
...we have had a pretty good day...the AT&T U-Verse guy showed up EARLY and we think he FINALLY fixed the problem we have had with our televisions for over a month now. We had a really nice lunch, it was All-You-Can-Eat, and I was surprisingy full after a salad and one plate. Ummm, All-You-Can-Eat. I did really well this time, I think. We waited around and had dessert a little while later. We capped the day off with a visit to the park. Of course, in between, Mike did kind of ride me about what little I have been doing around the house. I pointed out what I have done. He acknowledged that, but kept on about what still needs to be done. He does not understand. I can't change that. I am working on what I can do.
Anyway. It was a good day, overall.
Here is day two of the thirty day challenge...
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
...I really did not put a lot of thought behind it...my blog was created originally because my therapist wanted me to journal. I used to do a lot of writing when I was younger, but anymore, I find that I don't have the "time" to put pen to paper. My blog was more of an outlet, and not very exciting. It was to focus on, just another day. The my little world part was just because it is supposed to be the goings-on of what happens, in my little world. Not very exciting.
That is about it. All-in-all it was a good day.
Love to All.
Anyway. It was a good day, overall.
Here is day two of the thirty day challenge...
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
...I really did not put a lot of thought behind it...my blog was created originally because my therapist wanted me to journal. I used to do a lot of writing when I was younger, but anymore, I find that I don't have the "time" to put pen to paper. My blog was more of an outlet, and not very exciting. It was to focus on, just another day. The my little world part was just because it is supposed to be the goings-on of what happens, in my little world. Not very exciting.
That is about it. All-in-all it was a good day.
Love to All.
Friday, April 1, 2011
...already stuck...and tired!!!
Okay...so I am tired. I napped today, yes. I worked three more hours than usual, yes. We had fish fry from the nearest Catholic Church for dinner (no, I am not Catholic, but I appreciate their tasty, fried fish). I am wiped. My boss, who drives 45 minutes to our job, works full time, has a husband and three kids, one of whom is a special needs (Downs Syndrome) three year old, and she seems to always have IT together...my boss tells me that I "look tired". Yes, today I was part of a team that overlooked 25 full-of-energy-and-not-wanting-to-listen-kindergarteners...that may have had me a little frazzled, but I have NO excuse to look "tired". I don't do enough to merit a "tired" look. I know this whole changing-my-life thing is going to come slowly, but I should not look or feel tired.
But, tonight I am wiped out.
I am going to default tonight to starting one of those cheesey "30 Day Challenge" things that I can bounce back on on days like this. I will still blog when I have something to talk about (tonight, I got nuttin'), but I will commit to at least updating this over the next 30 days...
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
...a recent picture of myself...I don't feel pretty or skinny enough to take pictures, so there are very few of me. The one used for my blog, most websites where you have to upload a pic of yourself, twitter and facebook are all from a Christmas Party in 2009. It has been cropped to high-heaven so you can't quite see my cheeks and double chin!!! I think I may have a pic of me from Walt Disney World last fall...must work on taking more pictures so my future grandchildren and great-grandchildren will actually know what I look like...
...okay, so there is a pic of me, Mike (LOVE the classy wife-beater he is wearing in what is our most recent family pic) and Little Man. Yes, my husband is a born-and-raised Floridian, and his philosophy while being in the Florida sun is NO SLEEVES. Classy. I try not to take too many pics of him while we are on vacation!!!
Fifteen interesting facts about me...this may take longer than I thought...
1) I am the oldest of five children. We all range in age from 22 to 37. I thought I was going to have a big family as well...but am secretly glad that Little Man is an only child.
2) I love working with my preschoolers and kindergarteners. I really think that I relate to them...I am a big kid at heart!!!
3) I wanted to be a teacher when I grew grow up. First, I have to grow up!!! Second, I have to get over my phobia of chalk!!! Thank goodness most classrooms went to white boards!!!
4) I am NOT a good cook at all. I have ruined Hamburger Helper, and Little Man has described my Kraft Macaroni & Cheese as "yucky". I am trying, and getting better (Little Man will now eat my mac & cheese). I am so not a cook that, when I met Mike, all I had in my kitchen was a box of chocolate Teddy Grahams and a case of Diet Cherry Coke. I blame my weight gain on his ability to cook and his feeling sorry for me and feeding me.
5) I miss Florida. I love Saint Louis. I hate winter weather. My family keeps me here.
6) I loved working for Disney, but at the end of the day, I prefer being a Guest.
7) I like to watch professional wrestling. Don't judge.
8) I am a "reformed" shopaholic. I use the term reformed loosely. Yes, there was a time when my Target addiction was upwards of $1000 a month. Yes. Target. I still like to shop, but don't spend that kind of money. I am not as compulsive as I used to be. I thank therapy for this.
9) Yes, in case you are new to the blog, I can admit freely that I have been in therapy. I still need therapy. It is an ongoing thing.
10) Diet Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper are gifts from God. Really. Have you worked with 3-4-5 year olds at 6:30 in the morning???
11) Even though I have to be at work at 6:30 in the morning, I am not a morning person. Morning and I have never been friends.
12) I love to read, and it is not uncommon for me to get into a new book and stay up all night reading it.
13) I love to watch SpongeBob SquarePants with my Little Man. I also adore the show Olivia on NickJr. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. I don't care how old you are. She is a very wise little pig.
14) That being said, I don't know what I would do without my DVR. I can watch "my" shows whenever I get a chance.
15) I can't believe that I came up with 15 different things. Interesting or not, I did it!!!
So I don't forget the daily topics, I have listed them in today's post...
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Your favorite song
...here is to getting through the next thirty days...heck, here is to getting through the next thirty hours!!! I can do it!!!
Love to All.
But, tonight I am wiped out.
I am going to default tonight to starting one of those cheesey "30 Day Challenge" things that I can bounce back on on days like this. I will still blog when I have something to talk about (tonight, I got nuttin'), but I will commit to at least updating this over the next 30 days...
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
...a recent picture of myself...I don't feel pretty or skinny enough to take pictures, so there are very few of me. The one used for my blog, most websites where you have to upload a pic of yourself, twitter and facebook are all from a Christmas Party in 2009. It has been cropped to high-heaven so you can't quite see my cheeks and double chin!!! I think I may have a pic of me from Walt Disney World last fall...must work on taking more pictures so my future grandchildren and great-grandchildren will actually know what I look like...
...okay, so there is a pic of me, Mike (LOVE the classy wife-beater he is wearing in what is our most recent family pic) and Little Man. Yes, my husband is a born-and-raised Floridian, and his philosophy while being in the Florida sun is NO SLEEVES. Classy. I try not to take too many pics of him while we are on vacation!!!
Fifteen interesting facts about me...this may take longer than I thought...
1) I am the oldest of five children. We all range in age from 22 to 37. I thought I was going to have a big family as well...but am secretly glad that Little Man is an only child.
2) I love working with my preschoolers and kindergarteners. I really think that I relate to them...I am a big kid at heart!!!
3) I want
4) I am NOT a good cook at all. I have ruined Hamburger Helper, and Little Man has described my Kraft Macaroni & Cheese as "yucky". I am trying, and getting better (Little Man will now eat my mac & cheese). I am so not a cook that, when I met Mike, all I had in my kitchen was a box of chocolate Teddy Grahams and a case of Diet Cherry Coke. I blame my weight gain on his ability to cook and his feeling sorry for me and feeding me.
5) I miss Florida. I love Saint Louis. I hate winter weather. My family keeps me here.
6) I loved working for Disney, but at the end of the day, I prefer being a Guest.
7) I like to watch professional wrestling. Don't judge.
8) I am a "reformed" shopaholic. I use the term reformed loosely. Yes, there was a time when my Target addiction was upwards of $1000 a month. Yes. Target. I still like to shop, but don't spend that kind of money. I am not as compulsive as I used to be. I thank therapy for this.
9) Yes, in case you are new to the blog, I can admit freely that I have been in therapy. I still need therapy. It is an ongoing thing.
10) Diet Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper are gifts from God. Really. Have you worked with 3-4-5 year olds at 6:30 in the morning???
11) Even though I have to be at work at 6:30 in the morning, I am not a morning person. Morning and I have never been friends.
12) I love to read, and it is not uncommon for me to get into a new book and stay up all night reading it.
13) I love to watch SpongeBob SquarePants with my Little Man. I also adore the show Olivia on NickJr. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. I don't care how old you are. She is a very wise little pig.
14) That being said, I don't know what I would do without my DVR. I can watch "my" shows whenever I get a chance.
15) I can't believe that I came up with 15 different things. Interesting or not, I did it!!!
So I don't forget the daily topics, I have listed them in today's post...
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Your favorite song
...here is to getting through the next thirty days...heck, here is to getting through the next thirty hours!!! I can do it!!!
Love to All.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
...temper tantrums, social skills, funny little compulsions and the like...
...Little Man was diagnosed with Asperger's when he was three. I had a hard time wrapping my head around it. My main goal was to get him whatever services he needed to make him "normal". Mike was almost in denial of the whole thing. He thought we were blowing things way out of proportion and all he needed was a little more discipline.
Yes, I am the mother in Target who you were looking at when her child was "misbehaving"...when it was really more like he was reacting to the sound of the vacuum cleaner that the associate was running in the Misses section. Yes, I am the mother who you saw on the corner of the parking lot, waiting patiently and hoping not to be late to the doctor's appointment because her child was stepping on and off the curb 50-some-odd times because he "wanted to get it right". Yes, I am the mother who you are in line in back of at McDonalds, hoping you are being understanding about the delay in getting to order because her child is counting and counting, trying to make the right decision of whether to have chicken nuggets or a cheeseburger for dinner. I am even the woman at Walt Disney World who you rolled your eyes at while waiting in line to see Buzz and Woody, because her son had to stop and make sure that Woody was going to sign his autograph book on the "right" page, because he dropped his book and lost that page. There are all sorts of little "tics" that Little Man has that I have grown accustomed to, or have simply gotten used to over the years. I give you a small smile, hoping that you are understanding, but knowing that you, like my husband USED to think, probably think that my child just needs some more discipline. Asperger's is an "invisible condition". To see my son, he looks like every other average six year old...but I know that he has a definite different way of doing things. And that is okay.
Little Man has had Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy since he was about two and a half, when we realized that something was just "not right". He was able to start preschool at our school district at the age of three. He has absolutely flourished. He is now in kindergarten, still working on Speech and OT, but also has a class for "social skills" and has the resources to use if he is feeling overwhelmed or has a meltdown. He has a great team working for him. I am glad that I was so vigilant about getting him the services that he needed, and I am glad that Mike turned around. I just explained to Mike that we would rather have him take full advantage of all of these services that DH thought he "didn't need" than to let him fall through the cracks. I was determined not to let my son become a "Lost Boy".
This is not to say that we still don't have our struggles. Just today, at swim lessons, Little Man threw a kickboard and had a temper tantrum. The swim instructor, who is very good, but very young told me that he had to "work on his tantrums". Part of me wanted to stand up and shout "you don't understand...my son is on the Autism Spectrum...he can't alway help how he acts...please be understanding!!!". I didn't. I told her that it is somethig that we are always working on, and we would continue to work on. I told her that he really loves coming to swim lessons, and asked her what he did well in today's lesson. I did my best to make a "bad" situation good. Little Man and I came home and discussed that it is never acceptable to throw a kickboard, that it is simply not safe. We also talked about listening to our swim instructor and trying our hardest. I learned that Little Man was frustrated because he is the youngest of the three boys in his class, and he is not always finishing first, or even finishing at all. He sometimes has to start a lap over because his feet touched the bottom of the pool. Wow. I explained to him that he is still learning, and the older boys have had more experience. I feel better being able to talk things out with him.
I know that there is no such thing as "normal" really. Everyone has their own way of thinking and doing things. Asperger's is not something that Little Man will outgrow. It is something that he will learn to cope with. I am STILL trying to learn as much as I can. It is a new experience every day.
As far as MY own struggles go...I am still coping. No nap yesterday (yeah me!!!) and managed to get a few things done around the house. Unloaded/loaded/ran the dishwasher. Did a load of laundry and folded about half of the eight baskets of clean laundry. Does not sound like much, but to me it was the world. I also worked four extra hours at school last night, working at the before/after school program registration. Not that it should be an excuse for not getting more done, but that was a chunk of my evening.
Now to get off this computer and get a few more things done today. Thanks for listening, because I am sure I did not make much sense in this ramble!!!
Love to All.
Yes, I am the mother in Target who you were looking at when her child was "misbehaving"...when it was really more like he was reacting to the sound of the vacuum cleaner that the associate was running in the Misses section. Yes, I am the mother who you saw on the corner of the parking lot, waiting patiently and hoping not to be late to the doctor's appointment because her child was stepping on and off the curb 50-some-odd times because he "wanted to get it right". Yes, I am the mother who you are in line in back of at McDonalds, hoping you are being understanding about the delay in getting to order because her child is counting and counting, trying to make the right decision of whether to have chicken nuggets or a cheeseburger for dinner. I am even the woman at Walt Disney World who you rolled your eyes at while waiting in line to see Buzz and Woody, because her son had to stop and make sure that Woody was going to sign his autograph book on the "right" page, because he dropped his book and lost that page. There are all sorts of little "tics" that Little Man has that I have grown accustomed to, or have simply gotten used to over the years. I give you a small smile, hoping that you are understanding, but knowing that you, like my husband USED to think, probably think that my child just needs some more discipline. Asperger's is an "invisible condition". To see my son, he looks like every other average six year old...but I know that he has a definite different way of doing things. And that is okay.
Little Man has had Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy since he was about two and a half, when we realized that something was just "not right". He was able to start preschool at our school district at the age of three. He has absolutely flourished. He is now in kindergarten, still working on Speech and OT, but also has a class for "social skills" and has the resources to use if he is feeling overwhelmed or has a meltdown. He has a great team working for him. I am glad that I was so vigilant about getting him the services that he needed, and I am glad that Mike turned around. I just explained to Mike that we would rather have him take full advantage of all of these services that DH thought he "didn't need" than to let him fall through the cracks. I was determined not to let my son become a "Lost Boy".
This is not to say that we still don't have our struggles. Just today, at swim lessons, Little Man threw a kickboard and had a temper tantrum. The swim instructor, who is very good, but very young told me that he had to "work on his tantrums". Part of me wanted to stand up and shout "you don't understand...my son is on the Autism Spectrum...he can't alway help how he acts...please be understanding!!!". I didn't. I told her that it is somethig that we are always working on, and we would continue to work on. I told her that he really loves coming to swim lessons, and asked her what he did well in today's lesson. I did my best to make a "bad" situation good. Little Man and I came home and discussed that it is never acceptable to throw a kickboard, that it is simply not safe. We also talked about listening to our swim instructor and trying our hardest. I learned that Little Man was frustrated because he is the youngest of the three boys in his class, and he is not always finishing first, or even finishing at all. He sometimes has to start a lap over because his feet touched the bottom of the pool. Wow. I explained to him that he is still learning, and the older boys have had more experience. I feel better being able to talk things out with him.
I know that there is no such thing as "normal" really. Everyone has their own way of thinking and doing things. Asperger's is not something that Little Man will outgrow. It is something that he will learn to cope with. I am STILL trying to learn as much as I can. It is a new experience every day.
As far as MY own struggles go...I am still coping. No nap yesterday (yeah me!!!) and managed to get a few things done around the house. Unloaded/loaded/ran the dishwasher. Did a load of laundry and folded about half of the eight baskets of clean laundry. Does not sound like much, but to me it was the world. I also worked four extra hours at school last night, working at the before/after school program registration. Not that it should be an excuse for not getting more done, but that was a chunk of my evening.
Now to get off this computer and get a few more things done today. Thanks for listening, because I am sure I did not make much sense in this ramble!!!
Love to All.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
So Much for a "Wordless Wednesday" post...I'm Back, Baby!!!
Wow...I have not blogged in awhile. I am back on the wagon, friends.
I don't feel like there is much going on...I'll think about some updates...
Little Man...
Little Man is doing great. Kindergarten is going well. We had his parent/teacher conference earlier this month...he is reading at a second grade level (proud, nerdy mama here!!!). He is also doing very well at math (mama is proud, but mama is admittedly a little scared since mama is not good at math...here is hoping he does not ask for help from me!!!). Social skills need some working on, but this seems to be something that I can expect from a child with Asperger's. We are so lucky to be in the elementary school that we are...we have such a great team pulling for Little Man. I am fortunate to be able to work at the same school that he goes to...I feel that I am a little more involved. I see his teachers and other members of his team just about every day. With my job, I am able to volunteer in his classroom on Tuesdays and with other kindergarteners on Fridays. He is flourishing, both in school and at home. We still have swim lessons on Tuesdays and Thursdays and we will start (Coach-Pitch) Baseball next month.
My (not really new) Job...
I love the change in careers that I made last year. The Credit Union where I worked was a very good company to work for. They were very good to me, and very fair to work for. I just was not 100% happy. I was not content to be a teller for the rest of my life. It just seemed so mundane to me, and not really what I wanted to be doing. Mike and I decided that last June I could take the plunge and quit my job. We agreed on a "deadline" of our trip to Walt Disney World in late September to either a) get a home-based daycare underway or b) find another job. Well, I found another job. A part-time job, but another job...following my heart...I was going to be working with children in our district's before/after school care. I was fortunate enough to get a job at Little Man's school. I started out working with the second grade group before school. Right around Thanksgiving, I moved to the preschool group. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE working with the preschoolers. This is where I want to be. I love my preschoolers...just today I was told that a) I was pretty, b) my shirt was pretty, and c) that I smelled good. I love what comes out of their little mouths and minds!!! I also get lots of hugs, and that makes everything better!!! Since my job is part-time, our agreement is that I go back to school. I am SLOWLY working on that. I am scared. I am sure that there is enough going on there for me to write another whole blogpost about!!!
My Weight Loss...
Ummm...yeah. This has stalled.Part is it is ALL my doing...I cancelled Weight Watchers last December because of spending the $40/month and getting nowhere...of course, I was doing nothing and getting nowhere. I have actually GAINED ten pounds since I quit my full time job last June. Ten pounds that I absolutely do not need. I am determined to get back on track...eat better...get back to the gym. All of this has to be one step at a time.
My Deprression, Anxiety and all that Jazz...
We changed insurance plans last October (I think I might have touched on it in an earlier blogpost). We are STILL getting the hang of it all. We have all but met our deductible (I think we are ten dollars away), so I will be able to visit my therapist at no cost. I could have visited my therapist before, but it would have been costly. Mike has encouraged me to visit my therapist, and I have missed her terribly...BUT I have been as stubborn as a child about not going...I think I have been a little lazy. I have been a little lazy about a lot of things. I probably should go back. I will make a resolve to go back. Babysteps, babysteps, babysteps. I have also not seen my psycharitist (sp) in awhile. I know I have to, and I have "taken myself" off of all of my depression/anxiety meds. I know I was not supposed to just stop them, but I feel okay. I hated all of those different pills and what some of them did to me (probably a whole other blogpost in the waiting right here!!!). I am determined to find a new doctor and hopefully take a new course with meds. I have not been as compulsive with some things (shopping...I have not been shopping like I used to...go ME!!!) but I know that there is still a lot that I need to work on.
Moving (or Not) Back to Florida
My heart is in the Sunshine State. My mind is here in the Show-Me-State. We still have the daily debate on whether or not we will move back. Right now, we are doing okay here in MO. Little Man is doing well and his school is great. We are in no position to move right now (too much stuff to get rid of/.pack up) but it is in the back of our minds. I think the deal-breaker will be how much more Mike can handle at his job. He is currently not very happy...but he is sticking it out. I don't want to hold him back. I know the only job he was TRULY happy at was when he worked Security at Walt Disney World. I hate that we took him away from that (again, I know that this could be a whole other blogpost!!!). I love and admire him for "sticking it out". I have always told him that if he wants to go back, we will.
Everything Else...
I think what is weighing heavily on me right now is my lack of motivation. I work two-ish hours a day, but I have no motivation to do anything else. I don't go to the gym, I don't organize my home. I hardly keep up with daily chores!!! I am so ashamed and embarassed about my lack of motivation. I get home from work, eat breakfast and then go back to sleep with Mike (his sleep schedule is all sorts of messed up, and he sleeps from about 9 am - 1 pm). Mike has been a good sport, for the most part. I think his patience is wearing thin. He is tired of not having clean plates and utensils when he needs them (seriously, how hard is it for me to load/unload the dishwasher???), a spot on the counter to work on (because I feel that clearing the counters is "overwhelming"), he is the one doing the laundry (really, is it too much to ask for clean underwear???). Right now, I am staring at EIGHT (yes, you read that right...eight) laundry baskets of clean, unfolded laundry. My husband was good enough to catch up the laundry, but I can't manage to even fold it. I am not going to beat myself up over it, but I am going to get to working on it. I have always followed http://www.flylady.net/ and know that I can do anything in just fifteen mintues. My simple goal today is not to go back to sleep. Of course, I need to get off of this computer (it has been my crutch over the last few months) and get moving.
I have opened so many doors...and there is so much more that I want to work on. :) From the daunting task of getting this house "move-ready" (our phrase for cleaning/purging/organizing...act like we are moving out of the house!!!) to the simple task of simply taking more pictures...Little Man is not going to be little forever!!!
This all ties together...my depression, my stall in weight loss, my "zoning" and neglecting day-to-day duties. Everything will not change overnight, but I need to take it step-by-step. So, off I go...I am going to throw in a load of laundry, load the dishwasher and clear off one kitchen counter. Does not sound like much, and believe me there is SO much more to do...but this is just the beginning. One step. And I can do it.
Love to All.
I don't feel like there is much going on...I'll think about some updates...
Little Man...
Little Man is doing great. Kindergarten is going well. We had his parent/teacher conference earlier this month...he is reading at a second grade level (proud, nerdy mama here!!!). He is also doing very well at math (mama is proud, but mama is admittedly a little scared since mama is not good at math...here is hoping he does not ask for help from me!!!). Social skills need some working on, but this seems to be something that I can expect from a child with Asperger's. We are so lucky to be in the elementary school that we are...we have such a great team pulling for Little Man. I am fortunate to be able to work at the same school that he goes to...I feel that I am a little more involved. I see his teachers and other members of his team just about every day. With my job, I am able to volunteer in his classroom on Tuesdays and with other kindergarteners on Fridays. He is flourishing, both in school and at home. We still have swim lessons on Tuesdays and Thursdays and we will start (Coach-Pitch) Baseball next month.
My (not really new) Job...
I love the change in careers that I made last year. The Credit Union where I worked was a very good company to work for. They were very good to me, and very fair to work for. I just was not 100% happy. I was not content to be a teller for the rest of my life. It just seemed so mundane to me, and not really what I wanted to be doing. Mike and I decided that last June I could take the plunge and quit my job. We agreed on a "deadline" of our trip to Walt Disney World in late September to either a) get a home-based daycare underway or b) find another job. Well, I found another job. A part-time job, but another job...following my heart...I was going to be working with children in our district's before/after school care. I was fortunate enough to get a job at Little Man's school. I started out working with the second grade group before school. Right around Thanksgiving, I moved to the preschool group. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE working with the preschoolers. This is where I want to be. I love my preschoolers...just today I was told that a) I was pretty, b) my shirt was pretty, and c) that I smelled good. I love what comes out of their little mouths and minds!!! I also get lots of hugs, and that makes everything better!!! Since my job is part-time, our agreement is that I go back to school. I am SLOWLY working on that. I am scared. I am sure that there is enough going on there for me to write another whole blogpost about!!!
My Weight Loss...
Ummm...yeah. This has stalled.
My Deprression, Anxiety and all that Jazz...
We changed insurance plans last October (I think I might have touched on it in an earlier blogpost). We are STILL getting the hang of it all. We have all but met our deductible (I think we are ten dollars away), so I will be able to visit my therapist at no cost. I could have visited my therapist before, but it would have been costly. Mike has encouraged me to visit my therapist, and I have missed her terribly...BUT I have been as stubborn as a child about not going...I think I have been a little lazy. I have been a little lazy about a lot of things. I probably should go back. I will make a resolve to go back. Babysteps, babysteps, babysteps. I have also not seen my psycharitist (sp) in awhile. I know I have to, and I have "taken myself" off of all of my depression/anxiety meds. I know I was not supposed to just stop them, but I feel okay. I hated all of those different pills and what some of them did to me (probably a whole other blogpost in the waiting right here!!!). I am determined to find a new doctor and hopefully take a new course with meds. I have not been as compulsive with some things (shopping...I have not been shopping like I used to...go ME!!!) but I know that there is still a lot that I need to work on.
Moving (or Not) Back to Florida
My heart is in the Sunshine State. My mind is here in the Show-Me-State. We still have the daily debate on whether or not we will move back. Right now, we are doing okay here in MO. Little Man is doing well and his school is great. We are in no position to move right now (too much stuff to get rid of/.pack up) but it is in the back of our minds. I think the deal-breaker will be how much more Mike can handle at his job. He is currently not very happy...but he is sticking it out. I don't want to hold him back. I know the only job he was TRULY happy at was when he worked Security at Walt Disney World. I hate that we took him away from that (again, I know that this could be a whole other blogpost!!!). I love and admire him for "sticking it out". I have always told him that if he wants to go back, we will.
Everything Else...
I think what is weighing heavily on me right now is my lack of motivation. I work two-ish hours a day, but I have no motivation to do anything else. I don't go to the gym, I don't organize my home. I hardly keep up with daily chores!!! I am so ashamed and embarassed about my lack of motivation. I get home from work, eat breakfast and then go back to sleep with Mike (his sleep schedule is all sorts of messed up, and he sleeps from about 9 am - 1 pm). Mike has been a good sport, for the most part. I think his patience is wearing thin. He is tired of not having clean plates and utensils when he needs them (seriously, how hard is it for me to load/unload the dishwasher???), a spot on the counter to work on (because I feel that clearing the counters is "overwhelming"), he is the one doing the laundry (really, is it too much to ask for clean underwear???). Right now, I am staring at EIGHT (yes, you read that right...eight) laundry baskets of clean, unfolded laundry. My husband was good enough to catch up the laundry, but I can't manage to even fold it. I am not going to beat myself up over it, but I am going to get to working on it. I have always followed http://www.flylady.net/ and know that I can do anything in just fifteen mintues. My simple goal today is not to go back to sleep. Of course, I need to get off of this computer (it has been my crutch over the last few months) and get moving.
I have opened so many doors...and there is so much more that I want to work on. :) From the daunting task of getting this house "move-ready" (our phrase for cleaning/purging/organizing...act like we are moving out of the house!!!) to the simple task of simply taking more pictures...Little Man is not going to be little forever!!!
This all ties together...my depression, my stall in weight loss, my "zoning" and neglecting day-to-day duties. Everything will not change overnight, but I need to take it step-by-step. So, off I go...I am going to throw in a load of laundry, load the dishwasher and clear off one kitchen counter. Does not sound like much, and believe me there is SO much more to do...but this is just the beginning. One step. And I can do it.
Love to All.
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